badfic_manor | "When talking about your exploits exaggerate by a third so everyone has fun." [audio]

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"When talking about your exploits exaggerate by a third so everyone has fun." [audio]

If I can get a normal goddamn sized cigarette, I'll never make fun of midgets ever again. Until three p.m. Tuesday.
[Badou's voice is that usual mix of teenage girl whine and pessimistic dismissal. The voice of a man hardened by the war of attempting to climb up the shitter and not plummet to his flushing.] A fuckin tactical Arnold maneuver across enemy shit lines just for grub, all because of some shitty brat's height an tit issues.

[There's noticeable disconcerting sounds in the background of Badou's last will and testament: the pitter patter of little disease carrying feet across linoleum, the rustling of food being pilfered by whiskered little bastards, and of course the constant wheeze of Badou's anxiety.]
Back home, I used to try an get the roaches to pull a Jesus across Holy Water...That lolicon bastard never told me Karma would bite my ass this hard. He just bitched 'bout ash stains on the shitty carpet that were totally those old hags' stains. You know old folks can't keep track of their stains for shit.

[Have a shaky, put upon sigh. Where is his goddamn meat shield when he needs it?] If I don't make it back with at least a goddamn poptart crumb, mama bear can have my lighter collection, least you can light up some fuckers...that pony-tailed cocktease can have my eyepatch. Finally get a goddamn boyfriend an stop abusin' innocent gingers. Aidin' in kinky shit'll look good on my heaven resume. An if Slim Jim ever gets his stanky ass back here, tell him he owes me child support. Dickhole.

[The distinct sound of footsteps, his reluctant, slow steps, sound as he approaches his doom- if, y'know, no one saves his beautimous ass out of the kindness of their soft, yet hard boiled hearts. Finally, just before the audio cuts off, we have this gem:]

MooOOOTHERFUCK, GET THAT ANTENAE OUTTA THERE! DIDN'T YOUR MAMA TEACH YOU IN THE FIVE DAYS OF HER LIFE NOT TO STICK THOSE DISEASE CARRYIN' COP A FEEL WHISKERS IN PEOPLE'S NONO SQUARES? RUDE ASS!

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[ How sweet, you'd actually sorta mention Kanda in your testament. That or there are more pony-tailed guys whom you'd call a cocktease that seem to have affinity to eyepatches. No kinky shit, though, so shut your trap. ]

[ It's really more of an accident than anything else, but right as Badou is getting his quota of badtouch from the roach, there's a gust of majestic wind and a prince knight in shining armour on a white horse enters the scene. ]

[ Well, not so much a prince knight in shining armour on a white horse, as an irritated Kanda armed with a toothpick, riding a mouse that is bound by what appears to be one of Kanda's hair ties, that apparently remained of normal size. ]

[ The hair tie is pulled, the mouse-steed rears, and the toothpick-spear flies at the cockroach. RAWR. ]

[No worries, bb, Kanda is Badou's one and only pony-tailed mpreg pond skipper pooper baby. He only has eye(s) for you. However he stands by the boyfriend thing, it'll be like a lucky charm, without a stingy ass leprechaun.
The roach and Badou are content (the roach) and horrified (Badou) about having this soul searching moment but now apparently they're starring in a movie with Co-Star Nick Cage as a Samurai with weave.]

Hoooooooollllyyy Jesus Christs' salty tap dancin' nipples! [Is all Badou can utter as the roach is impaled and the ginger is sprayed with guts. There's even some in his mouth. Kanda is a talented guy.
When the proverbial smoke clears Badou looks upon his savior with admiration and sparkles in his eye.]

My motherfuckin' hero~ Your mpreg dad Rambo must be so proud of his bouncin' baby boy. [He saddles up as close as he nears to Kanda's....steed, minding the pooplets, and grins a shiteating grin] I knew ya liked me!

[ Kanda nonchalantly rides closer and grabs the tootpick, lifting the roach with no visible effort like a bbq'd cow on a stick. He snorts at the unfortunate human which is now covered in beetle juice, and thoughtfully examines his prey. ]

Do you think it's edible?

[ He might actually be basking in the sparkling admiration a little, because when you have an ego of the king of the universe, you gotta feed it sometime. His good mood dies out a little when the unworthy saved peasant continues spouting the usual nonsense, though. ]

Keeping idiots alive is part of my job.

[ Nowadays, it seems. So don't get fluffy with him, you creep. ]

[Doki doki, Kanda will make any hairy assed cavewife happy some day.
Until he opens his mouth. Badou blanches upon the question, visibly spitting roach guts as he does so.] Dude, don't fuckin' eat that. You're gonna get syphilis, the black plague or hepatitis. Those fuckers eat shit, too.

[Though the moment is ruined, Badou's still sparkling with awe and dodging poop. His ass HAS been saved, y'know. For now.] Daaaaayum, you could get so much poon like that. You're way smarter than you're given credit for, bruh.

Edited 2013-02-01 08:43 (UTC)

[ She'd better shave her ass when she's happy, in that case, or else she will not get any happier than that. And yes, Kanda's irresistible charm seems to dwindle whenever he starts talking for some reason. ]

Ah.

[ He scrunches his nose a little, and with a smart twist, pulls his makeshift weapon out of the dead bug. And stares Badou down, because he noticed you had those guts in your mouth there, mister, and if he's standing in front of a source of black plague or syphilis or whatever, it is his citizen duty to eradicate it. ]

You may have been infected.

[ He doesn't look particularly homicidal yet, as like for all dumb creatures, Badou praising his smarts is stroking his ego. If he wasn't wary of potential epidemic, he'd be pleased like a fat cat purring in the sunshine at this point. ]

Naturally.

[Hey, ain't you seen the justice blogging? A woman can choose her hairy bits, it's a man's job to choke over it an get the fuck over it, brah. "For some reason" his ass....That sunny disposition is expensive.]

Jeeeeeeesus fuckin' Christ's strong arab arms...how are you so cool.[Badou stares soulfully at the manry display. The toothpick was fucking impressive, not that he'd admit it. Kid shoulda been in Gladiator, and not just to be in a skirt.
The stare down is a little weird. What if-] ....Don't tell me that fucker sprayed love poop pollen an you're in love with me now. I know 'm cute, but c'mon.

[As usual, Kanda's mouth ruins everything and Badou will proceed to freak out and spittle, vigorously rubbing his tongue on his sleeve and cry- manishly leaking.]

YOU WOULD BE SO SHITTY IN A ZOMBIE MOVIE, YOU ANAL FARMER! WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDIN' THERE LIKE YOU JUST SAW A ZOMBIE DILDO BREAK OFF?! HEEEEEEEEELLLPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEE HERO, YOU'RE MY ONLY FUCKIN HOPE

[ To hell with justice blogging. Kanda's the kind of feminist who believes in punching whoever is being annoying whether they're a man or a woman. ]

[ Then there's Lenalee. ]

Che.

[ Kanda allows the crippled ginger to bask in his glory, looking positively pleased that his cool and awesome manry display has made such an impact. And damn right he should have, he would've taken on the opponents, the lions, the sentry and the emperor himself, beaten everyone up and emerged the ultimate overlord, all while rocking that manskirt like he did in Vol.10. ]

[ However, we're stuck in the present, and Kanda is unimpressed both by Badou's poor attempt to flatter himself for a change and the screaming. ]

What.

[ Weights toothpick in hand. There are no more creatures in sight for now, so the cry for help likely means one thing. ]

You want me to end your suffering?

[My GOD Kanda's only Kryptonite is a petite asian girl in thigh highs?! Just like every other hot blooded frothy loin'd teenager. Especially americans. Tsk, tsk.]

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IS THIS HAPPENIN' TO ME NOOOOHOHOOOOOOOOW?! I STILL GOT FUCKIN DREAMS, YOU BASTARD DEATH GOD! LIKE FUCK A HAND MODEL AN A NAIR MODEL AN PHOTOSHOP JESSICA ALBA'S HEAD ON THE HAIR MODEL'S FAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! I HOPE YOU GET SCHWARZENEGGER'S DICK STUCK IN YOUR RIBS WHEN YOU GO TO OFF HIM

[Badou has, at this point, lamented at the ceiling, fallen to his knees, his face in his hands, and multitasks between weeping, wiping his tongue on his shirt, and writing a letter aloud to Jessica Alba. At Kanda's encouraging words he looks up, outraged tears in the corner of his eye.]

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU, MY VETERINARIAN?! GAVE YOU THE BEST GODDAMN YEARS OF MY LIFE AN CHASED MORE BALLS THAN YOU GOT AN THIS IS HOW I'M REPAID?! PUTTIN' THE MAN DOWN!? Don't trouble yourself. Wouldn't wanna mess up your shitty ten dollar manicure....[Cue sniffling. Oh no he di-int.]

[ p.much, yeah. She's not so very petite when kicking him in the stomach (or elsewhere) with her ultrasonic stilettos activated, though. AND WHO THE HELL IS FROTHY LOINED AND AMERICAN, YOU PATHETIC WILDEBEAST ]

[ Kanda distantly registers that the red-haired mess is suggesting he's a death god and should go to off someone. It doesn't really make much sense, so he prods Badou with his toothpick. The sharp end, of course, there's no country for old pussies. ]

You didn't answer my question. Are you infected?

[Well no one's going to judge him for his masochistic kinks, okay. The bruised balls and low sperm count is worth it. YOU ARE, YOU PATHETIC TEENAGED BOY! BOY MEETS BALLS!]

SHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT, YOU AIN'T ONE OF THE THREE COCKATEERS! YOU DON'T HAVE THE PREREQUISITES TILL YOU GOT THE MUSTACHE

[Badou huffs and rubs at his abused arm. At least it wasn't the old nipple.] Gee whizz Scooby, I don't exactly have a piss test for it right here now, do I? [He shakes his head, kind of bemused at the swordsman's behavior.] 'm probably fine. No worries, Princess.

[ o i that ain't no laughing matter! Though he probably has low sperm count anyway, the scientists didn't exactly have reproducing planned in his future. ]

...

[ Badou makes two very unfortunate mistakes; first, he reminds Kanda that he is still unable to acquire manly facial hair despite of being over twenty years old, what is most likely due to his nature but he's still conscious about it. And second, on top of it he calls him Princess. That's like putting two and two one on top of another when they're nuclear bombs. Overkill, man. ]

[ Kanda makes a strange, short, somewhat bark-reminiscent sound and very seriously tries to break his toothpick on Badou's head (meaning, whacks him over it pretty hard. Good thing toothpicks aren't exactly sturdy). ]

[So you're saying there's going to be some poor bastard to volunteer for The Talk. That's what you're saying. And nut therapy. God dammit, Kanda.]

[Before all hell breaks loose, Badou has split seconds to cock an eyebrow at the warning noise and sputter] What, you gotta do a victory fart? Just aim your perky ass that wa-AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I THOUGHT WE HAD FUCKIN ADJUSTED YOUR TANTRUMS LIKE A DEEP SEATED WEDGIE, WHAT THE FUCK! THE REWARD SYSTEM WORKS LIKE A DREAM MY FRECKLED ASS!

[He's quick to defend himself through the tear- er, manly leakage; punching at Kanda's nips of steel.] DON'T TAKE YOUR SEXUAL TENSION OUT ON ME, I ALREADY GOT THAT SIDE PLOT GOING ON IN MY LIFE! TAKE A NUMBER AN GET IN LINE!

[ The Talk could be useful, yes, but what the hell is nut therapy? Then again, don't answer that. ]

QUIT SCREAMING OR I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU.

[ Ugh. Kanda grunts and drops the toothpick, though whether the punch actually had effect or he just decided it's useless is unclear. Mugen is pretty much a pin right now, but he's still got it if this keeps up. ]

WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYTHING SEXUAL TO YOU?!

[Well just make sure all parties are drunk before the proceeding of The Birds and the Rabbits. Nut therapy is when you go free balling half the time and then do jumping jacks whilst singing We Are Never Getting Back Together. Its very spiritual.]

YOU'RE FUCKIN YELLIN TOO! DON'T GET YOUR PANTIES IN A GODDAMN TWIST OVER SOME YELLIN. TRY COLLEGE, THAT'S ALL IT IS! THAT AN KEGS. AN THAT INVOLVES GYMNASTICS, EVEN!

[Badou lets out a huff at the manhandling and rubs his abused flesh, aiming a sour look at Kanda. Which quickly turns into a leer] When you getcher big boy pants you'll understand. Till then, I'm just a grown ass man. That's all. Methinks the prince doth protest too much.

[ Yeah, maybe he'll pass on that. Except getting drunk because who wouldn't need that after dealing with youuuuu ]

SHUT UP.

[ AND HE DOESN'T WEAR PANTIES ]

You're hardly a man if a cockroach can molest you.

[ Kanda is trying to leave the scene with dignity now. Unfortunately, the mouse is hungry and is apparently smelling crumbs nearby, so it's not turning the way he wants. ]

NEVER! YOU LIL SHITS ARE ALL 'BOUT SPREADIN YOUR DRAWS AN THINKIN' ITS YOUR HIGHWAY! WELL WHEN YA WAKE UP WITH A NEW PAIR OF BOXER BRIEFS ON, NO GODDAMN IDEA HOW YOU GOT TO CLASS AN AN UNKNOWN BALL PIC IN YOUR PHONE, THEN YOU CAN TALK! [There's more gesturing to go along with this rant, I know you'd be disappoint if there wasn't.
Also, pictures or it didn't not happen over these panties.]

PFFT, you're hardly a goddamn man, princess if you're ridin' a plague carryin' rodent. Guess it's practice for the big leagues, then. [Just. Have some sneering. Badou very much recognizes the taste of defeat as well as retreat, and he's just going to revel in Kanda's failed escape route and smirk about it.]

Sides, that motherfucker was huge. I'd like to see you rustle his jimmies from rustlin' your southern jimmies, asshole.

Edited 2013-02-14 09:16 (UTC)

...what.

[ Excuse him, but that was confusing. ]

That happened to you? It's nothing to be proud of, it's fucking pathetic.

[ Princess-ion does it again, and Kanda abandons his steed (by gracefully sliding off its back), unsheathes his sword and seriously attempts kicking Badou's balls up his ass. ]

You heard me, brat. It'll be in a lesson plan written out for ya in The Assbeatin' in middle school.

[He's excused. The entire class is excused.
Them's fighting words. And sheathes. And deadly auras. Badou backpeddles, making sure to keep Mickey between Death Rides a Ponytail. Die another day, dammit. It isn't his day. Not till the fat lady sings. He lets out a rather rude snort]

What sort of bullshit fantasies are you trynna project onto me, brah? That ain't me, I ain't that type of girl. Jesus titty dancin' christ, you've got some deep seated kinks. An I thought I was a creative fucker.

[ Yaayyy recess!! ]

What are you talking about?

[ Kanda's patience is running thin as he's forced to circle the mouse, so he makes a graceful leap over it, his boots aimed at Badou's head. WHEN WILL YOU START MAKING SENSE, GOD FUCKING DAMMIT?! ]

[Don't hog the swings though or you'll get five minutes taken off.

Badou only has seconds to pose smugly and quip-] You'll understand when you're older, lil cockhopper-

[before there are boots coming RIGHT THE FUCK AT HIM. Screaming and doing a combo of limbo and matrix flexing, he still gets a boot to the head. He lands, eventually, on his back, holding his head and scowling HE WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP, GOD DAMN.]

DON'T START PLAYGROUND BRAWLS WITHOUT A GODDAMN FLAG POLE INVITE, YOU TWATBURGER! WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?! RUDE ASS. We're gonna have to restart your lessons, jesus CHRIST.

[ Killjoy. ]

Whatever.

[ Kanda huffs, turns on his heel and starts stomping away, because the best way to deal with someone making an annoying scene is to leave. Right? ]

[No we need to monitor the swings SO NO ONE FLIES OFF TO SPACE THIS TIME! OR FALLS ON THEIR FACE!]

[Well that's okay, Badou's just gonna grumble and bitch, and flip Kanda's retreating UNMANLY back the bird whilst passionately proclaiming] YEAH, WALK AWAY, ASSBURGER! THE TEXTIN' CHAIN'LL BE BLOWIN UP WITH YOUR SAD DEFEAT AT THE HANDS OF THE RED GODDAMN BARON!

[Licking his wounds once more (not literally, hes not that talented), he turns on his heel to storm off.]

[ WHO CARES ABOUT THEM LOSERS ]

[ THE RED GODDAMN BARON WHO WAS PISSING HIS PANTS AT THE FACE OF A COCKROACH LIKE AN UNDERAGE CHEERLEADER IN THE BOYS LOCKER ROOM. YEAH, SURE. ]

[ And so, the two idiots part their ways. ]

[Neku's not sure if the other redhead is crazy or not, but he's beginning to suspect, just based on the way the other guy was ranting.

It was barely making sense, the way that, technically, fast food was "food".]

So... I guess you're not into roaches, either. [Suddenly the much shorter redhead is sprinting across the floor, bringing his arm up- and the cockroach goes flying. It also leaves goo. All over Neku.

...Ew.]

[Whoa, the kid didn't even need a crystal fucking 8 ball for that deduction! Trained by the world's greatest detective.
Badou continues to scream about hip hop and the level of desensitization it does on kid's STD levels, and doesn't stop screaming, even when the roach is swatted.]

Jesus Christ fuckin WEPT kool-aid...[He says in greeting, his gaze flickering down to make sure he hadn't peed (he didn't) then to his savior.]

God damn, little dude. You come from a long line of exterminators or ghost bug bustin' fuckers? [Snort] No one likes roaches. Not even communists.

[...Neku has to snort a little at that.] Nope, just used to fighting things that are bigger and more dangerous than I am. [Though the ghost part is debatable.] ...I need to get bug gunk off me. [Neku's looking up and around- if he can get to the sink he can probably take a swim in the sink to get the gunk off.]

Ahhh, the ol 'meet me at the flagpole afterschool at three o'cock or I'll tell your girlfriend that your boyfriend is the one you got that ass pimple from' eh? Impressive, little man.

[As long as he doesn't deal with the ectoplasm it probably builds character.]

Good cuntin' luck with that. Tried to shimmy up to the shitter this mornin' an I almost drowned. My life flashed before my eye an I realized I need more fiber in my damn diet. You might haveta just chill in syphilis an hepatitis juice for a bit.

Bigger. [Tsuna snorts softly, looking for something to grab hold of to climb up. The drawers look managable!]

And I really don't think so. [He's more determined than that.] Plus, if the drain is plugged, the sink would make a good pool right now.

[Whistle.] Takin' on the football team in the showers? Ballsy. Literally.

[Badou's content to 'be helpful' if by helpful I mean stand there and scratch his ass.] Suit yourself. Don't get more hard boiled'n that. You better hope this week's bullshit doesn't turn into Final Dickdination an the garbage disposal turns on while you're pissin' in the pool.

Wouldn't be the first time I died... [Neku's muttering, but working on climbing up there.] If we fill both compartments, we can have a place for people to take baths and get clean, and drinkable water that's not too hard to get at...

Yup, shower Play by Plays. Kid must not wanna talk about the towel incidents. All those jibblies. Tsk, tsk. [He's just gonna assume, since the Red Baron Roach Swatter didn't respond. Badou just. Slowly, nervously backs closer to the drawer in question as roaches gather around. They don't believe in revenge, right? Aren't they the hippies of the bug world...they overrun places an eat shit but don't get jobs?]

Ain't you a mayoral candidate. Keep up that concerned golden boy shit an you might just rise to the ranks of those other shitty politicians.

Nope. But lots of obnoxious Noise. [Tsuna looks over his shoulder, growling. He keeps his grip firm on the drawer, fire springing up between Badou and the roaches.]

Get up here, dumbass!

Ain't that what you damn kids use headphones for, anyhow? Goin' deaf before you're twenty-five so you don't gotta hear your mama complain 'bout your skid marked undies?

[Badou doesn't need to be told twice. I-It's not like you're the boss of him, baka! Firedick just doesn't fancy a roach gang bang.]
FUUUUCKKKK, GET JOBS, YOU LAZY ASS HEPATITIS BANGIN' HIPPIES! THEN YOU CAN BITCH ABOUT YOUR DEAD BUDDY AN THE FUNERAL COSTS!

[So he scrambles up the drawer at breakneck speed, coming intimately close with a pair of tongs.]

Stop running your mouth and save that air for climbing, dipshit! [Neku's voice is pretty much venom at this point.] I can't keep this up forever!

FUCK OFF, DOUCHECOCK! THIS IS HOW I WORK MYSELF UP FOR THIS KINDA SHIT! UNLIKE YOUR P GENERATION, IT AIN'T AS EASY AS A REDBULL AN ENDLESS SCROLLIN!

[That last bit ends in a tell-tale wail as he climbs and nears Neku's spot, the dying squeaks and twitching of the roaches serving as a very enlightening training montage.]

Rocky didn't haveta deal with this sorta bullshit...

If you keep yelling at me I'll leave you for the roaches to get. [He wouldn't, but he's really hoping Badou will stop yelling like that. His ears are kind of sensitive.]

DON'T LEEAAAAAAAAAAAVE ME, LITTLE DUBSTEP GINGER! YOU KNOW IT IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS, US FIRECROTCHES GOTTA STICK TOGEEEEEEEEETHER! OUR ANCESTORS WOULD WANT THAT

[Better put it out there now before this legendary friendship begins: Badou will never stop yelling like that. Get him a cigarette and he might be able to work something out, all cool like.
He reaches Neku in record time, tears in the corners of his eyes, and pants like he's run a marathon] Stephen King, eat your goddamn black heart out.

Edited 2013-02-02 04:32 (UTC)

[The times when Neku wishes his headphones were noise-canceling...] Dubstep is actually complete shit anyway. [Neku surveys his countertop domain, looking thoughtful.]

[Plopping his ass down for a breather and searching, in despair and vain, for a cigarette before he remembers he ain't got any, Badou heaves a sigh of relief. His ass is saved once again thanks to the Ginger Puff Brat.]
NOW we're gettin' somewhere. Thank shit. I didn't think I could respect ya if you were into that sorta thing. Bullshit brainwashes the youth.

[The nickname is staying, though, through thick, thin, and introductions.] Sheeee-iiiiit, I need a cigarette...

That shit will kill you. Take it from the walking dead guy. [And with that comment he's wandering off to see if he can get a plug into the drain of the sink.]

Gee thanks, mom I'll be sure to do that an cram veggies before you crank out the wooden spoon an lectures. I've been doin this since you were a pearl in your dad's balls.

[Badou definitely don't need no pubescent brat telling him shit. So he'll lounge there for a bit till he damn well pleases, watching the kid flutter around.]

Well, when you get your cancer sticks back, don't smoke them around me. [Neku glares at a spot- it bursts into flame for a moment.] Got it?

WHAT THE FUCK, YOU'RE GONNA GIVE SMOKEY THE BEAR A BIGGER HARD ON THAN CALIFORNIA YOU SHIT! [Is the shriek followed by the jump about three foot into the air you are given as a gift. You're welcum. Showing off like that and the just desserts.]

R-Roger, Dubstep. Y'know you could basically be a walkin' lighter if you wanted. What a blossomin' friendship.

I'd burn your face off if you tried- I can't control it that fine. It's meant for fighting things, anyway. [Neku finds the sink plug and starts trying to shoulder it into the sink, frowning.]

Hey, how well can you swim?

Tch, what a goddamn waste. Doesn't your shitty government at least got funds for school for special talented little brats? A know it all professor? A hairy teacher with a bike boner? A couple of ginger star crossed lovers?

[Badou sees your frown and raises you a cocked eyebrow.] I must've left my other banana hammock speedo in my hamper, too damn bad. [AN ACTUAL SERIOUS ANSWER, WHOA] ....I can doggie paddle.

Not good enough for what we'll need. [Neku is getting out of his shirt, shoes, socks, and taking his electronics off- he leaves those in a neat little pile, but moves the pins from the collar of his shirt to his pants. He kind of needs those.] I'm gonna plug the drain, and you should turn on the water when I get done. If you fill up the whole thing, I'll be able to climb out again.

...If you don't I will seriously haunt you after I die.

Not the type of strip tease I needed after a goddamn trauma like today....[Sighing ever so loudly, Badou starts to make his way to his station, rolling his eye. He's pretty casual about life or death that ain't his own.]

There are enough zombie bastards after my innocent life these days, get in line. Yeah, yeah, I gotcha. Be my guest an save the day, hero.

Edited 2013-02-02 07:26 (UTC)

Deal with it. I'm not swimming in a shirt. [Neku shoves the drain plug in the sink and slides in after it. It's gonna take him a little while and a lot of shoving to get that plug in the drain, but he eventually manages.] Turn on the water!

I don't even think Madonna's wrinkle-y ass could cure what fuckin' ails that strip tease.
[Badou watches Neku's heroic efforts with a bored expression on his face, less bang more buck. At the command, he gives the teen a mock salute and turns the knobs as hard as he can, grunting with effort. Arm wrestling for lunch money an wedgies didn't prepare him for this sort of anarchy. The water sputters to life, thankfully]

You alive down there, Dubstep? If you changed your mind bout the floaties you're shit outta luck.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"When talking about your exploits exaggerate by a third so everyone has fun." [audio]

[action] so would you be okay with this course of action

[action] WHO WOULDN'T BE OKAY OR DAMN SKIPPY THRILLED WITH THIS? I WAILED! you are perfect.

[action] JSKHFKJSFH thanks yay /o/

[action] =u=

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