[He looked up at her, confused by the movement. Then his eyes widened. No one... no one had told him it was okay. No one had told him it way okay to be...
He hadn't thought of this yet. Their getting together had been so fumbly and awkward he hadn't thought about love yet. Heck, it had been over a month and they had only kissed once. He just kept staring for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. Was he really in love with Ryuutaro? The more he thought about it the more the answers became clearer. His heart skipped a beat at the thought of him, he trusted the younger boy, he liked spending time with him... and no matter how many times he became afraid and pushed Ryuutaro away... he had always come back. He was in love. He, who had grown up without any sort of honest love after his mother's death, was in love. It scared him.
Gokudera's eyes start to well up, and he tightens his jaw to try and keep the tears from flowing again. He was so weak right now. So weak and pathetic, and despite his best efforts the tears fell regardless. But they weren't tears from the pain, or the fear, or self-loathing...
It was because he was in love with a boy and it was okay.]
I-I do love him... I... I really do...
[He could never admit this to Ryuutaro yet. Telling Ryuutaro would be like giving him permission to hurt him, just like his father and sister had. He couldn't give him that power yet. Ryuutaro could destroy him with that power, and he wouldn't be able to handle that kind of betrayal again.
He pulled back from Mary again, but this time just to wipe his eyes. He hated looking so weak... but he just felt so small and vulnerable right now, and the tears just came so quickly.]
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He hadn't thought of this yet. Their getting together had been so fumbly and awkward he hadn't thought about love yet. Heck, it had been over a month and they had only kissed once. He just kept staring for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. Was he really in love with Ryuutaro? The more he thought about it the more the answers became clearer. His heart skipped a beat at the thought of him, he trusted the younger boy, he liked spending time with him... and no matter how many times he became afraid and pushed Ryuutaro away... he had always come back. He was in love. He, who had grown up without any sort of honest love after his mother's death, was in love. It scared him.
Gokudera's eyes start to well up, and he tightens his jaw to try and keep the tears from flowing again. He was so weak right now. So weak and pathetic, and despite his best efforts the tears fell regardless. But they weren't tears from the pain, or the fear, or self-loathing...
It was because he was in love with a boy and it was okay.]
I-I do love him... I... I really do...
[He could never admit this to Ryuutaro yet. Telling Ryuutaro would be like giving him permission to hurt him, just like his father and sister had. He couldn't give him that power yet. Ryuutaro could destroy him with that power, and he wouldn't be able to handle that kind of betrayal again.
He pulled back from Mary again, but this time just to wipe his eyes. He hated looking so weak... but he just felt so small and vulnerable right now, and the tears just came so quickly.]
K-kay...