[He makes one of those obnoxious, totally gross sounds in the back of his throat, like a soggy nose drip gone wrong, and scoffs] Psssh fuck no, I'm plannin' on blowing this Popsicle dick stand on my next break. Don't tell the elves that though, okay? Tiny bastards, but together they can take even a guy like me down like donkey kong.

[Leaning back in his chair more comfortably, he folds his hands innocently in his lap. He'd find cigarettes later, his chatter and complaining was being encouraged so he must do something about it!] I'm only here to rack up karma, not that I need much...an' cause after that shit went down with the other Santa, they couldn't get another one. So here I am, bullied into shit like usual, jeeez...always the victim, never the prom king.