I... I don't want to lose you, and this place is the only chance I've got to see my mom... but...
[He cringed held Ryuutaro's hand a bit tighter, this was clearly a large part of what bothered him.]
But the Vongola's gone... I... haven't seen the Tenth since Christmas... after I told him about us... his name's still on the door though. I don't know... maybe I did something wrong? But even if he's avoidin' me... I should have seen him somewhere. Everyone from home is just... gone. I don't know what to do without the Vongola... I've tried to keep my skills sharp and everything, but what if I'm too different now? What if they all come back and I can't do my job?
[And he's starting to get more frantic as he speaks]
When boss was here... he was just... so much stronger than I am... I mean he's always been stronger, but I've still been able to watch his back- now... I just get in the way.... what if... what if he finds a stronger storm guardian and I have to step down? What if I have to go back to Italy?!
[And he's worked himself into a full blown panic, unable to sit down any longer, he gets up and starts pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair.]
I-I'd have to be a freelance hitman on the streets again... I-I'd rather die than have to go back to that... but I... I promised I wouldn't... [So he would have to live that life again for the sake of his promise...] I-I can't go back to that... but.. but what if this is my fault somehow? W-what if I'm doing something to make them all leave?! I just... I just... I just don't know anymore...
[And he paused his pacing just clutching his head, hoping in vain that if he applied pressure it would make this horrible feeling just go away.]
Re: [in person]
[He cringed held Ryuutaro's hand a bit tighter, this was clearly a large part of what bothered him.]
But the Vongola's gone... I... haven't seen the Tenth since Christmas... after I told him about us... his name's still on the door though. I don't know... maybe I did something wrong? But even if he's avoidin' me... I should have seen him somewhere. Everyone from home is just... gone. I don't know what to do without the Vongola... I've tried to keep my skills sharp and everything, but what if I'm too different now? What if they all come back and I can't do my job?
[And he's starting to get more frantic as he speaks]
When boss was here... he was just... so much stronger than I am... I mean he's always been stronger, but I've still been able to watch his back- now... I just get in the way.... what if... what if he finds a stronger storm guardian and I have to step down? What if I have to go back to Italy?!
[And he's worked himself into a full blown panic, unable to sit down any longer, he gets up and starts pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair.]
I-I'd have to be a freelance hitman on the streets again... I-I'd rather die than have to go back to that... but I... I promised I wouldn't... [So he would have to live that life again for the sake of his promise...] I-I can't go back to that... but.. but what if this is my fault somehow? W-what if I'm doing something to make them all leave?! I just... I just... I just don't know anymore...
[And he paused his pacing just clutching his head, hoping in vain that if he applied pressure it would make this horrible feeling just go away.]