[For a moment the teen felt his heart stop. His head instantly snapped up to look at Ryuutaro, his face going a shade paler and his eyes wide. Even the hands that held Ryuutaro’s started to tremble slightly. He knew. What would happen now? Would he be upset? Would he decide that he wasn’t worth the affection? Would he leave him too? Or throw him away?
He had always been silently grateful that Ryuutaro had allowed him to give him the affection he did, but with this... would that change? What if he didn’t want that kind of affection? What if knowing that he loved him would somehow wake him up to the very reason no one wanted him for those long four years on the streets?
He was scared.
He knew he couldn’t help how he felt, and he knew he was pathetic for not being able to say it, it was something Ryuutaro had the right to know, but there was so much else that the little four-letter-word brought with it when spoken. It was the final barrier he had. If no one knew he loved him, and no one loved him back then he couldn’t get hurt again. He couldn’t take getting hurt again...
He opened his mouth to speak, but at first no sound came out. He had to try and swallow the lump in his throat before he could even manage to stutter.]
I-I.... I...
[He didn’t even know what to say. “Please don’t leave me”? “Promise you won’t hurt me too”? All he could manage was that little stutter. This was... more terrifying then anything he had gone through so far. The ring battles... the torture and interrogation by Gamma... his death... this...
Re: [in person]
He had always been silently grateful that Ryuutaro had allowed him to give him the affection he did, but with this... would that change? What if he didn’t want that kind of affection? What if knowing that he loved him would somehow wake him up to the very reason no one wanted him for those long four years on the streets?
He was scared.
He knew he couldn’t help how he felt, and he knew he was pathetic for not being able to say it, it was something Ryuutaro had the right to know, but there was so much else that the little four-letter-word brought with it when spoken. It was the final barrier he had. If no one knew he loved him, and no one loved him back then he couldn’t get hurt again. He couldn’t take getting hurt again...
He opened his mouth to speak, but at first no sound came out. He had to try and swallow the lump in his throat before he could even manage to stutter.]
I-I.... I...
[He didn’t even know what to say. “Please don’t leave me”? “Promise you won’t hurt me too”? All he could manage was that little stutter. This was... more terrifying then anything he had gone through so far. The ring battles... the torture and interrogation by Gamma... his death... this...
He was just so afraid of getting hurt again.]