[At least he was looking at him now. Between all this rising panic Ryuutaro could see in his boyfriend’s eyes that seemed like the silver lining. Why didn’t he know already? Hayato could usually read him really well, but never when it came to how Ryuutaro felt about him. It was beyond ridiculous already to see just how much Hayato could twist all the signals Ryuutaro gave sometimes. Right now was not the appropriate time to think about this though. Ryuutaro looked into Hayato’s eyes and for a moment he felt almost sorry for solely having completed what was obvious. He wanted to see that panic fade down and melt again, though at the same time he couldn’t help a little headshake at how blind Hayato was being. Right after though, before giving Hayato much time to react - god knew what he would’ve made out of that... - he looked up again, making sure their eyes were locked on each other’s.]
I love you. Don’t you know that?
[It was stating the obvious. They had been together for such a long time now, they went through so much.... Doing so without loving each other wouldn’t have made any sense. But at the same time saying it felt like a lot more and Ryuutaro unexpectedly felt himself growing a bit nervous as well. He didn’t know what for, there was just no reason... They had gotten together months ago, this was supposed to be natural, but his heart was racing like it didn’t know. Maybe it didn’t. They spent so much time circling each other, slowly drawing each other closer and closer that often it didn’t feel like they already got to being together yet. It was complicated. Ryuutaro had no way or comparing how something like this was supposed to be, but even he couldn’t see it as anything but that. They’d been running and running and running without really moving forward a lot and despite living through all the close and calm moments they had somehow missed the point to stop running. From each other, towards each other, sometimes he hadn’t even known anymore. Somehow he needed to smile some more, a bit of an awkward almost embarrassed smile from what it felt like, but Ryuutaro hoped that it wouldn’t be so obvious. His heart was racing, his thoughts were standing perfectly still and now that they got here he didn’t know where to go. They really did things completely the wrong way around]
[in person]
Hayato could usually read him really well, but never when it came to how Ryuutaro felt about him. It was beyond ridiculous already to see just how much Hayato could twist all the signals Ryuutaro gave sometimes.
Right now was not the appropriate time to think about this though. Ryuutaro looked into Hayato’s eyes and for a moment he felt almost sorry for solely having completed what was obvious. He wanted to see that panic fade down and melt again, though at the same time he couldn’t help a little headshake at how blind Hayato was being. Right after though, before giving Hayato much time to react - god knew what he would’ve made out of that... - he looked up again, making sure their eyes were locked on each other’s.]
I love you. Don’t you know that?
[It was stating the obvious. They had been together for such a long time now, they went through so much.... Doing so without loving each other wouldn’t have made any sense.
But at the same time saying it felt like a lot more and Ryuutaro unexpectedly felt himself growing a bit nervous as well. He didn’t know what for, there was just no reason... They had gotten together months ago, this was supposed to be natural, but his heart was racing like it didn’t know. Maybe it didn’t. They spent so much time circling each other, slowly drawing each other closer and closer that often it didn’t feel like they already got to being together yet. It was complicated. Ryuutaro had no way or comparing how something like this was supposed to be, but even he couldn’t see it as anything but that.
They’d been running and running and running without really moving forward a lot and despite living through all the close and calm moments they had somehow missed the point to stop running. From each other, towards each other, sometimes he hadn’t even known anymore.
Somehow he needed to smile some more, a bit of an awkward almost embarrassed smile from what it felt like, but Ryuutaro hoped that it wouldn’t be so obvious.
His heart was racing, his thoughts were standing perfectly still and now that they got here he didn’t know where to go. They really did things completely the wrong way around]