[Ryuutaro blinked and his smile faded away into a blank expression before he could notice or stop it. For a few seconds he said nothing. He'd been pushing aside the issue ever since they made up, trying his best to not get into contact with his feelings at all, but not that Hayato asked he didn't really have another choice.]
I...
[He broke off as sure as he started, stopping the rising automatic smile before it could fully spread over his face. He'd be an idiot to just lie and say he was fine now. If he did that he might as well turn around and leave, it would be repeating the same mistake over and over and over. That didn't make actually speaking his true feelings about such matters any easier though. Now that he had caught himself from the feeling of complete despair his denial abilities were running high again. It was easier for him this way, always had been. It wasn't like he had any other choice, with no person he was even remotely close to in sight. Ryuutaro trusted Hayato, that was something he could not really question, but he didn't really trust himself with being able to handle opening up fully. The smile returned, looking a little more helpless and genuine, but it didn't really reach his eyes either.]
Actually... I'm not sure.
[It wasn't so hard now that he'd already started with it, at least that]
I really don't know how I'm doing, let alone if it's 'okay'.
[in person]
He'd been pushing aside the issue ever since they made up, trying his best to not get into contact with his feelings at all, but not that Hayato asked he didn't really have another choice.]
I...
[He broke off as sure as he started, stopping the rising automatic smile before it could fully spread over his face. He'd be an idiot to just lie and say he was fine now. If he did that he might as well turn around and leave, it would be repeating the same mistake over and over and over.
That didn't make actually speaking his true feelings about such matters any easier though. Now that he had caught himself from the feeling of complete despair his denial abilities were running high again. It was easier for him this way, always had been. It wasn't like he had any other choice, with no person he was even remotely close to in sight.
Ryuutaro trusted Hayato, that was something he could not really question, but he didn't really trust himself with being able to handle opening up fully.
The smile returned, looking a little more helpless and genuine, but it didn't really reach his eyes either.]
Actually... I'm not sure.
[It wasn't so hard now that he'd already started with it, at least that]
I really don't know how I'm doing, let alone if it's 'okay'.
[He clapped his fan, the motion calmed him]
And what about you?