[Ryuutaro shook his head, not moving an inch otherwise. He had to get over this, get through this. He knew that he wouldn't, if he waited. It would take forever at least and he didn't want it to take forever. It wasn't so much about touching in itself as about the symbolic level of closeness that came with it.]

I want to be close like this.

[And he could, Ryuutaro knew. Even if the thoughts of the past kept haunting him, he'd already passed the most dangerous border for a few steps. There was no turning back and he wasn't going to keep standing there idly either. Ryuutaro wasn't a coward, he was convinced of this. And now he needed to move forward.]

You've worked quite hard to get me to the point of being alright with touching at all, so it'd be a shame to let that go to waste, wouldn't it?

[He tried a more friendly and casual tone again and luckily it worked. Ryuutaro was pleased with himself]