notkinkypatch: (jesus christs holy nipples aaaaaaaaaah)
Badou Nails ([personal profile] notkinkypatch) wrote in [community profile] badfic_manor 2012-08-29 03:39 am (UTC)

[Re!Badou points shakily and his face drains of all color as he wheezes] FIRST YOU THREATEN MY PRECIOUS NADS AN NOW YOU'RE BRINGIN UP KINKY SHIT?! WHAT THE EVER LOVIN FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR BEDROOM HABITS? DON'T PROJECT ONTO MINE, DAMMIT! [HELP! POLICE! A weiner psycho!] It ain't like I can just wave a wand an /my/ wand behaves. 'm talented but that's otherworldly.

Now you've gone too fuckin far. Nobody asked you t-to breathe! With my tar caked lungs! ]Zing! A really poor one.] Fer all you know back home we humans coulda adapted to breathin with cigarettes. Breathin as one. In harmony with all that poison an deliciousness. I'm in deep, babe.

[Badou's teeny arms drop down to grab at his teeny privates, and his face pinches uncomfortably] Whoa whoa whoa WHOA. WHOA. If you're trynna give me shit fer my shrink, get in line. I was born in the age after the internet, I've seen two girls one fuckin cup, I ain't easy.

[Wait, bowling ball. Shove. Bowling ball. Genitals. The cobwebbed cogs of his brain squeak.] OH! You've punched out some brats outta your lair of wonders is what ya mean. I don't know a lotta moms, an Slim Jim don't count cause his wig can't actually breathe, plus that mpreg thing was more implied-like...best two outta three? Three bein' if you can't see my junk it..can't...see you? Problem solved!

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