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badfic_manor2011-12-14 02:54 am
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Puff Pass 3 I think [Action] I am so SO sorry Santa
[So Badou awoke like most of you mannorians or whatever you're called did when you first arrived in this wondrous wintery wonderland of expensive crap, screaming babies and drunk couples. Except in a less sexy manner and there wasn't a dead hooker under the bed. It was magical, it was splendid, there were countless ways to rub up against some drunk (whether on actual booze or the highlights of mixtures of air pollution and those shoppers that kind of trip balls during this season) ladies and still manage to avoid their boyfriends, the free samples didn't taste like ass, and the lights were pretty. It was also cold as balls but sorta not that bad somehow. Upsides to every cloud of shit.
Unfortunately for Badou's jolly freckled ass the fun came to a complete halt once he engaged in a two toed one eyed one armed tango with a particularly disgruntled Mall Santa and the result was, well...]
Hohohooooooooooo MEEEEERRRRRRYYY DICKMAAAAAAASSS or whatever it is....I ain't gettin' paid to say it right, it's socially acceptable, eat me....
[If you listen, really listen, you can hear the traumatic memories the children fleeing from Santa's line are suppressing right at this moment. You'll find Badou, slightly bruised but none worse for wear in his Santa suit wedged with stuffing gaping out of the neckhole and sleeves because he's a skinny bastard, sitting with his booted feet thrown over the arm of Santa's elaborate chair and glaring daggers at the horrified Elves and various mothers making it their mission to get the hell out of his way]
Y'know, I didn't even hit the bastard that hard! He's a veteran, he could take more than a punch to that jolly gut! I even made it fair when I let him tie my arm up with his goddamn beard. Ya'll are lucky that lady cop was so hot and I'm so fuckin' nice.... [This is where you'll find him, if you want to find him, bitching at whoever is in armsreach. I really wouldn't blame whoever doesn't.]
HOOOHOOOHOOOO TELL SANTA WHAT YOU WANT YOU LITTLE SHITS! So I can tell you no. You don't need a fuckin' pony, what you need is braces.
Unfortunately for Badou's jolly freckled ass the fun came to a complete halt once he engaged in a two toed one eyed one armed tango with a particularly disgruntled Mall Santa and the result was, well...]
Hohohooooooooooo MEEEEERRRRRRYYY DICKMAAAAAAASSS or whatever it is....I ain't gettin' paid to say it right, it's socially acceptable, eat me....
[If you listen, really listen, you can hear the traumatic memories the children fleeing from Santa's line are suppressing right at this moment. You'll find Badou, slightly bruised but none worse for wear in his Santa suit wedged with stuffing gaping out of the neckhole and sleeves because he's a skinny bastard, sitting with his booted feet thrown over the arm of Santa's elaborate chair and glaring daggers at the horrified Elves and various mothers making it their mission to get the hell out of his way]
Y'know, I didn't even hit the bastard that hard! He's a veteran, he could take more than a punch to that jolly gut! I even made it fair when I let him tie my arm up with his goddamn beard. Ya'll are lucky that lady cop was so hot and I'm so fuckin' nice.... [This is where you'll find him, if you want to find him, bitching at whoever is in armsreach. I really wouldn't blame whoever doesn't.]
HOOOHOOOHOOOO TELL SANTA WHAT YOU WANT YOU LITTLE SHITS! So I can tell you no. You don't need a fuckin' pony, what you need is braces.
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He looks around until he spots him: Mr Badou Nails sprawled out on the chair, dressed as an...old man?...in a red suit and stuffing poking out of the sleeves. This was certainly a sight.
James makes his way over. ]
Mister Nails... [ he says slowly in his typical uptight-wig fashion ] what on earth are you doing?
Re:
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[action or snarky words or whatever man I don't even know]
[action] snark and wigs that should be our motto, our new shop the grand opening is cumming soon
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skulkingstrollingirritablymerrily along the mall trying to figure out what to get his few friends for Christmas. When he hears what most be the most spectacular butchery of a mall Santa ever.So he lights up a cigarette and casually strolls over to watch the show. He had heard that they did some over-the-top stuff on the holidays in America... if that big-ass tree wasn't any indication of that... but this...
this was all kinds of spectacular. So he just leaned against the wall for a bit, smirking with the cigarette hanging out of his mouth to watch for a while before he bothered to say anything.]
Oi, Jackass, I think you're doin' it wrong.
[Not that he gives half-a-shit, which is carried in his tone, he just wanted to see if he couldn't push the guy's buttons some more.]
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[Now, Elphaba could very easily just walk on and leave the scene to unfold by it's own means. But where's the fun in that?
Stepping past the horrified mothers and traumatised kids, a raised brow follows a smirk, both aimed at the impromptu santa]
Having fun...?
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I just wanted to let you know this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
He quirks a brow, deciding it's safe enough to come closer, faint amusement quirking his pokerface into an almost smirk. ]
Gee, Santa, looking a lil' worse for the wear. [ He sniffs, and his nose crinkles almost immediately. ] And smelling like a shipment of cigarettes.
fjdioa you are the most beautiful creature for even replying to this x0x0x0
NO YOU oh my god three comments in and I want no other angry ginger in my life.
a-aaah >///< I'm swooning~ this ginger is yours to tortu- I mean dote on
Oh good because Badou calls to Dave's need to troll the fuck out of people.
As if Badou gets anything BUT trolls- hes also going to shit a bit when he hears trollboys name
Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave.
NOOOO, CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
DAAAAAAAAVE. At least they can snark at each other.
LALALA CANT HEAR~ this is true, and bond over possibly dead siblings. Damn.
ahahaha sob it's true.
ugu be still my heart
u////u
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