badfic_manor | backdated to december 26; early morning.

[John had all but fled the party the night before, and while the locked doors of the lower floor hadn't immediately allowed him to return to his room, he had shifted around uncomfortably and stayed out of sight of most everyone he came across as he skittered about. At one point he had wedged himself behind a plush arm chair and sat in the corner with his knees drawn to his chest, desperate to be alone somewhere that was quiet.]

[When he had gotten back to his room, he had promptly screamed into his pillow until his throat was raw and his voice was scratchy.]

[Which he figured was probably part of the reason he had then curled up in the corner of his bed under a mound of pillows and blankets and watched City of Angels twice before he fell asleep to Sarah McLachlan's melodious voice with his face buried in a pillow to hide the fact that he was way more upset about this than he was letting on.]

[Dawn startled him awake in the form of a ray of sunlight glinting off his glasses, which he had neglected to remove, and he vaulted himself out of bed, still in his sweater and socks from the previous evening, and slid down the hallway in aforementioned sock-feet to room ninety-six, where a one Rose Lalonde dwelled.]

[He stood there for about thirty seconds solid before he knocked shortly on the door.]

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[Jake's face sort of lights up at the notion but then his brow immediately knits in confusion.]

Weren't you just on your merry way to pay your friend a visit? Hastily so, if I recall.

Well, I was gonna go see Rose because I needed to talk to her about some stuff that happened yesterday, but it's a conversation that isn't exactly time-sensitive.

[He flinches, just a touch, at his own choice of words.]

I see. Everything alright?

[Quirks his mouth funny.]

I may have potentially really messed up one of my best friendships with something that was supposed to be a prank. So no, not really.

[Pauses and, really can't help a fond sort of grin.]

Crockers-- Crockers and Egberts and your constant battle of japery. Somethings must be universal constants.

But yes, I am certainly not going to refuse the viewing of one of my most favorites, especially if you are offering.

[Makes a sort of despairing face.]

Bluh. So glad I'm not a Crocker. That's just sick and wrong.

[But he grins a little, if somewhat less vibrantly than usual.] Cool, then. Your room or mine?

And it makes me ever curiouser as to how you become an Egbert. I suppose you are in fact a subscriber to the batterwitch conspiracy. I imagine this would ruffle Janey's feather quite a bit.

[Thoughtful....]

Perhaps mine, since the movie is already there?

Janey-- Nanna?

-Ah. Pardon?

No, dear sweet Jane is your granddaughter. Your ...Nanna would in fact be none other than the infamous batterwitch herself.

...

[Just this face.]

...

Chap?

That-- what. Jake that doesn't make any sense!! I mean, okay sure people name grandkids after grandparents all the time, so Jane being my Nanna's name and Jane being my granddaughter's name makes sense, but.

My Nanna was not Betty Crocker!!

[And of course He stops where he is and kind of stares at him and abject puzzlement. The expression on his face reading "what can you possibly mean by that, are you completely and utterly addled in the brain my dear man."]

Of course she was. That is a non-disputable fact. If i remember correctly the Crocker family goes as thus: The batterwitch, You, Jane's father and then Jane herself, making her heir apparent to the corporation.

Nope!! [Shakes his head vehemently.]

...like I think Nanna worked for Betty Crocker or something? But she wasn't like head of the corporation or anything like that. There used to be a factory near my house.

I... No. I must insist you're mistaken. If your Nanna was not the batterwitch, then my grandmother never would have been driven to exile.

[Sort of... sobers a little at that.]

Our timelines obviously work way differently, because that's not how it was for me. But I'm sorry that Nanna being Betty Crocker in your universe got Jade exiled, that... sucks.

No it's-- [Paaaaause.]

I'm sorry, repeat that last snippet, if you will?

...Nanna being-- oh.

It's ...probably some kind of crazy alternate universe shenanigans. I mean we've dealt with everything else with this damn game, haven't we?

By jove! That was it!! That was the beast of a revelation I've been tussling with for the last several months!! That's what I couldn't quite grasp, and here it is!! Fantastic!

Alternate universes! It seems so simple now, it wasn't merely time we were dealing with, no it was space as well! But -I don't.

I've gotten the answer to one question but now I have so many more. What game?

[Blinks.]

...Of course it's Time and Space, that's Dave and Jade.

Wait-- haven't you played SBURB?

SBURB? I don-- Oh, wait, no. yes, that was that game we were all to play just before I was whisked away to this strange place.

Oh wow so you haven't actually played it yet. Okay, well. Um. Spoilers!! We're given... Titles. Like I'm the Heir of Breath. Jade's the Witch of Space and Dave's the Knight of Time, and Rose is the Seer of Light.

Though I guess... that really wouldn't have much to do with alternate universes, unless I guess Jade probably created some kind of kink in the timeline when we Scratched and now everything's wacky and different from one space to another so I guess the John Crocker you know isn't actually me at all!

Wow this is confusing.

I feel as though I understand absolutely nothing.

You and me both, dude.

[Silence.]

...let's go watch that movie, hm?

Capital idea!

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