badfic_manor | 21st ILLUSION ||ROKUDO MUKURO|| [VIDEO/INPERSON]

[Having been on a walk outside anyway, Mikami figured that it's not too much of an effort to reply to the question in person. So Teru walked up to Mukuro soon after, offering a nod in greeting.]

Forgotten? You may be right...

[Teru took his time to sit down next to the other before going into this further. This week he didn't know that he shouldn't feel so casual next to Mukuro. Mukuro was an ally of his, maybe even a friend. Teru knew that the other had some opinions he did not agree with and sometimes that could make things difficult, but he knew nothing of the usual hatred he had for the other's thoughts.]

It's a distinct feeling though and I hadn't thought it was important until you mentioned it. The thought that she has messed with our minds again is ... unpleasant.

Yes, and that in an of itself is quite the oddity isn't it?

[Mukuro held up a cup of coffee for his friend, as he had been expecting the company. Then he marks his place in his book before taking up his own drink, which was simply a can of soda and takes a little sip before continuing.]

But I suppose we will find out at the end of the week what is happening, won't we? At the very least things seem peaceful now.

[In any other week Mikami might've found it concerning how certain Mukuro seemed to have been of his appearance already, but this week it didn't seem all that important. Mukuro was a dangerous person, but Mikami had no reason to not trust him right now. The man, who was no longer a prosecutor, offered a faint smile as he thanked Mukuro for his thoughtfulness]

In this case waiting seems to be all we're able to do, indeed. It's as usual, I suppose.
You're right. As long as no dangers come with the supposed memory-less waiting for the week's end won't do much harm. It's rare that we get a break after all.

[After a few sips from his drink he puts it down off the the side where it won't tip. After stretching his arms over his head he lays back on the ground, arms folded under his head as a make-shift pillow. He takes in the peaceful scenery for a while. Everything he was doing felt unnatural, but he was sure he had been doing it all his life. The day was warm, he had no reason for his jacket and gloves, the grass felt pleasant on his skin but there was a little nagging at the back of his mind. His smile, which had been honest and pleasant, faded and he turned his head to look at Mikami.]

It's odd... it's as though I'm on the verge of remembering something terrible... but it seems so far away and irrelevant....

[He turned his head to look up at the sky, his brows pinched together in concern]

Do you remember anything about me Teru? Anything bad?

[Ah... Mukuro's past. It was something this Mikami would like to avoid thinking too much about.
Teru took a sip from his coffee and looked down at Mukuro. The younger boy had been hurt horribly, there was no way denying that. But why would he ask about it? It seemed that what he had suspected about a memory loss was actually true.]

You do not remember then...?

[Mikami's voice was rather quiet. Mukuro had every right to know what his past was, but for a short moment he wondered if it wouldn't be better to let him have this week of peace]

Yes, I remember a few things from the times I have met your younger self due to the Author's doing.

[Now that he thought about the matter more, Mikami felt as if his own memory about this was lacking as well. The parts were clear enough but they didn't make sense. There were no reasons behind the past, no logic at all...]

I assume you want me to tell you then? Are you sure you'd like that?

[Mukuro inclined his head slightly towards Mikami, looking mildly shocked.]

I had all but forgotten...

[He pushed the thought away, in favor of the more important information... or was about to when he hesitated. Did he... really want to know? He would simply recall it the following week, and if it was truly horrific... then perhaps forgetting it for a time was a blessing.

But that was a childish way to think. If something happened to him he should know.]

Yes. I need to know.

[Mikami nodded seriously, taking a moment to get his thoughts into order before starting to talk. Unluckily that didn't help as much as it should have... There were still so many holes.]

When you were a child you talked nearly not at all. Your name was not the one it is now but '69' for some reason.
At the time I met you, you were wounded and [Another pause] you took out your own eyeball. It might have been artificial. It's a disturbing memory, now that I think back to it, especially because I can not recall the reasons for all this. It seems my memory is incomplete as well, because I would have investigated the reasons.
You seemed to be very scared, but my younger self was able to get your trust. I recall wanting to protect you from something, but I don't have an idea what that was.

I met you when you were supposedly slightly older as well. Then you talked and you were covered in blood. I never got to know the reasons or if I did, I have forgotten.

[He sighed soundlessly, giving Mukuro time to take all this in]

I wish I could provide you with more than this incomplete disturbing information.

[Mukuro sat up during Mikami’s recollection of the events, his face gradually going paler as he spoke. Eventually he had to look away and covered his mouth and swallowed to try and keep the bile from his throat. A number? He removed his eye? And then… covered in blood…

Just what had happened to him?

As he calmed down he reached his hand up to his right eye absentmindedly. He knew it was a blind eye, with an odd color which he had learned to hide but… to think of how he got it…

But Mikami was waiting a response. While still visibly shaken, he forces a small smile on his face and looks to Mikami again.]

I remember that… being scared I mean. I was afraid of someone coming for me… and I remember seeing you as something rare and special because of your name… but it’s funny really… I have no recollection why!

[He let out a little forced chuckle… silently dreading the end of this week…]

[Mikami felt a bit sorry for Mukuro as he told him all this. He wished he had better news for his friends or being able to change his past... He had met the younger Mukuro after all. In this week he had a hard time finding out why he had not helped the other more.]

Was this not one of the Author's schemes I would offer you all my help to get to know the rest of your past... But as it is right now, it seems as if a burden has been taken from you.

[It was unusual to think this way, but Mikami couldn't help it. This wasn't about him, but about a person he cared for]

So if you can, I'd advise you to not think about it too much and enjoy this week instead... the best you can, at least. The answers will come soon enough.

[And for Mukuro he almost hoped they wouldn't come at all.]

[Mukuro faced forward and gave a solemn nod, and the forced smile fades.]

I... almost wish they wouldn't.

[He heaved a sigh, then turned back to Mikami with a worried smile, but slightly more relaxed and less forced. He felt as though a weight was looming over, just waiting to crush him. The carefree way he had felt about the week, had quickly faded.He brought his knees up to his chest to rest his head on them.]

I suppose that would explain the troubles I have with my eye, wouldn't it?

[He brings a hand up to it, blinking for a moment and letting it show it's true red color, before blinking again and changing it back to blue.]

I was wondering why they were different...

[In this position Mukuro truly looked like a troubled child. Mikami felt himself reminded that Mukuro was far from being exactly an equal. The boy was over 10 years younger than him, possibly, he wasn't even fully adult yet. Now that he noticed it surprised the prosecutor that he didn't recall thinking about it before.]

Yes, I suppose that is the reason. Even though I'm not entirely sure what 'that' refers to in detail. But it seems to be artificial then.

I could venture a few guesses just by what you described... but for the time being I think I'll just feign ignorance and pretend to go through this week as anyone else would.

[It was a rather blunt description of the lie he would be telling himself for the week, and he would normally never simply state his thoughts and reasons so honestly, but what use was there in hiding them from Teru? He knew the story... and he trusted Teru. He had been there to care for him as a child after all.]

That appears to be the healthiest decision to me.

[Maybe not under other circumstances, but... Mukuro was just a boy. And what he had experienced was worse than what anybody should have to take. While he never applied the rule to himself Mikami know a bad past could horribly scar a person. And nobody should have to go through such a thing. He was no approving of denial, but Mikami did not wish any pain upon Mukuro either.
Teru offered a very faint kind of smile.]

You don't have any specific plans then?

I'm afraid I do not.

[He returned the smile faintly, his brows still knit together, revealing his uneasiness.]

I'm filled with an odd sort of restlessness. I do not know what to do with myself... but I would very much like to be doing something.

I see.

[And he understood, too, on some level. He felt like this about work only though.]

I would offer any sort of help, but I'm afraid I know nothing about free time activities or the possibilities of using a normal week.

[Which was and would always be a sad truth. ~~'Mikami Teru - Life and Failure of a Workacholic'~~]

[He laughs an honest little laugh.]

It seems you and I both will be exceptionally bored this week then, won't we?

Possibly. Even though I am not the kind of person who gets bored easily. There is always a bit of research to and some things to think about.

[The idea of free time really seemed a foreign construction to the man. But even if he knew boredom properly, he felt like it was a good thing this week. Having Mukuro laugh like this had to be called a positive turn of events, even to a cold mind as Mikami's.]

Research?

[He gave an inquisitive tilt of his head.]

I wouldn't suppose ti would be too much to request to join you? It would be something to get my mind off the matters at hand at least.

The library is amazingly well equipped and I like to be informed about anything that could provide useful in further plots. Especially now that the Author has proven to be using repeats at times. I don't know if my notes will find value sometime or not, but it is better than doing nothing.

I feel like there is another reason for me to research, but that falls under this week's memory loss...

[He didn't like it. There was something important, a reason for him to start this habit in first place, but he couldn't place a finger on it... ]

And of course you are always welcome to join. It will be pleasant to have somebody to talk to about results.

[A very small smile appeared on his face]

[Again he gave a genuine smile. He was well aware of his intelligence, and was also aware of how absolutely wasted it was in this stagnant hole while he was sitting and waiting for something that at current he could not remember.]

I look forward to it! Hopefully I will be able to provide some valuable input to your research.

[While he may be far more genuine and friendly in his current state, he was not far beyond his usual facade of humility. It got him what he wanted far more often then the blunt truth.]

[Now that's a feeling Kanda's been battling for a few days now. But he rarely had memory problems before, so for the most part he just brushed it off. Now however he considers if something has happened thanks to the Manor. Again.]

[Because now that he lets the feeling sink in, it seems as if a good chunk of his life before everything is missing.]

[So he's interested in discussing this, even if what he remembers of this guy is shapeshifting into a child to steal women's places in an escape boat leaving a sinking ship. Hence, not very fond memories at that.]

Somewhat. What could it be, besides your imagination?

What else could it be? The Author is playing one of her usual games of course.

[He chuckled a bit. He remembered this one… trying to counter the sinking of the massive shit with his duck. Didn’t strike him as the sharpest of tools in the shed. Oh, this would be fun. He was getting rather bored after all.]

Though I supposed my words may be a bit tough for you to handle. If you need me to slow down and explain it again I would be glad to. Kufufu.

[Just because he did not grow up as a child experiment who went insane, does not mean he grew up to be any less of a pompous dick.]

Seems a bit subtle for her tastes.

[Don't you hate on the duck, pineapple boy. It was a superbly neat duck and would have totally beaten all the physical forces pulling shit down after a sinking giant piece of fuck. So there.]

[Not that funny. Kanda has no idea why he has those random urges to kill things, because as far as he remembers, he's been in the Manor, like, foreverrr. Maybe he's just been pulled into some war plot that induced permanent amnesia and some bloody dangerous instincts. Who knows.]

[Still, regardless of reasoning, two can play the pompous dick game. Right after Kanda stops being insulted to the depths of his soul, that is. What is it with him and people offering to repeat things slowly?]

I'M NOT FUCKING STUPID.

[Oh sweetie, he'll be hating on that all he likes. Really! That duck with those boots? Tsk, tsk, tsk.]

[And he was going to make some comment about Kanda's opinion pn the subject when he gets that absolutely brilliant outburst and oh it was so worth actually wasting the breath to talk to this one. Today was indeed a good day.]

Kuhahahaha! Oh, I do apologize, it wasn't my intention at all to offend you! [yes it was] But I must say you are rather defensive about it.

[YELLOW AND BLACK MIX!!!1!]

[Kanda doesn't find the day to be quite as marvellous so far. Well, would you look at that. Steering all the conversation into irrelevant chatter right there. It's nice to know that people disregard the smarter things he says in favour to hear him being annoyed. What is life.]

Then you're shit at realizing your intentions.

[Dry and sharp like a dead banana tree. He's still annoyed, though, and it shows enough to rob him of victory in... whatever this is. Growl.]

I AM NOT DEFENSIVE.

[YEAH IF YOU'RE A BUMBLE BEE!!]

My, my, so crass. A pity. It's hardly a becoming trait.

[As usual, teasing those with lesser intelligence while amusing didn't provide much sport. If they did manage to catch on that you were poking fun at them, they merely called him out on it and threw around some idiotic insults with not thought behind them whatsoever. Oh how he missed the days when he could enjoy such witty banter with Emma Frost, both just so subtly sneaking in subtle jabs at eachother under the guise of pleasant conversation.

... still, watching this one contradict himself in such a blunt and obvious way was amusing enough to keep the little game going.]

Really now? I would say that your ceaseless yelling would prove otherwise, my friend.

[JSDHJKSDH. BUMBLEBEES ARE PRETTY AND HAVE STYLE, OKAY. NATURE IS A GOOD DESIGNER.]

[Just sneers.]

Aren't you touchy.

[Kanda definitely does not consider himself to be of lesser intelligence than... mostly anyone, really. So Mukuro's troubles are not comprehensive in his eyes.]

[Twitches, but regains the blanker tone once again just to prove the point.]

You haven't heard me yelling yet.

[IF NATURE WAS SUCH A GOOD DESIGNER THEN IT WOULDN'T USE HORIZONTAL STRIPES FOR SOMETHING SHORT AND WIDE!]

Touchy? Oh hardly, I simply think it's a shame to see such vulgarity for one who struggles to try and pass themselves off as intelligent.

[After all, Mukuro was one to equate intelligence in part to one who could hold themselves properly... that and he was just looking for places to jab at Kanda in the pride as much as he could.]

Oh, haven't I? Does your voice become both loud and shrill when you yell then? Since I had heard a distinct rise in voice~

[SHUT UP THEY LOOK CUTE. OR SOMETHING.]

What the hell are you talking about.

[And oh, that actually hurts. Kanda twitches and glares, his tone gradually changing into a silent growl.]

Don't mock me.

[Well, that vomiting lizard did seem to have the hots for you? Must have been your cute puppy-like charm~]

Mocking? Oh goodness no, my good friend. You see, mockery entails of either saying or doing something to make on look ridiculous or inadequate. I am merely bring to light the amusing contradictions between your words and your actions.

[This translates from prick to normal person as: I'm nitpicking words to make you look dumber but in essence yes I am mocking you.]

[Why are we bringing that up? As if it wasn't painful enough to cut one of them down. It actually almost felt like having friends again! :C]

[This is the place where Kanda will usually solve the argument by trying to break the other person's face and bones, however that is a little difficult to accomplish through a video. So instead he just glares.]

Shut the fuck up.

[If his perfectly legitimate concerns aren't going to be discussed, he is just going to very rudely hang up, yeah.]

Ah, I'm not the only one? [Tris is sitting in the sun, and clearly has a book on her person as well. She likes the nice weather.] I'm assuming that that my memories aren't really worth straining myself over remembering.

Yes, I’ve had a similar feeling. It is quite peculiar.

[He gave a thoughtful sigh.]

I am relaxed, and yet unsettled at the same time.

[By the way he is still rather sore at you for getting Not!chrome high off pineapple. Though completely unsure how Saguru took on the guise of Chrome, or why... still. Sore at you. Not that he'll show it. He's far too classy for that.]

Edited 2012-04-09 21:56 (UTC)

I'm assuming that in my case, it's a form of amnesia based on past traumas. I certainly do not remember ever feeling this... relaxed.

Well, that does certainly seem a logical explanation.

[He rests his chin in his hand thoughtfully, though it was more for show. He had already passed that theory of as wrong. He doubted his past was traumatizing enough for Mikami to forget it as well. ~~If he only knew.~~]

I have some to find that I had some hardship as well, but I cannot remember what.

[Saguru's been doing his own thinking - and instead of responding on the network, he just opts for coming down from the roof to the lawn; just as easy to talk in person, after all.]

It wouldn't be just you.

[A year unbroken with various people that had, at the time, been important for some reason unrelated to here was a little hard to miss, after all; everything seemed peaceful and fine, better than it had been a year ago, and yet, he remembered the raw paranoid panic he'd had at one man here - Gin - and another lady who'd only been around briefly, fear that didn't seem to have any basis or reason...]

[Ah, Saguru, a welcome friend to try and work this out. Mukuro’s opinion of a majority of the manorites was quite low, he held Saguru in a high regard.]

It is good to know, I am not the only one then. Come have a seat.

[He gestured to a spot on the grass next to him. It was odd really. For some reason it felt unnatural to be sitting outside like this, no shoes, no coat, no gloves… but when he tried to think about it, he couldn’t make any sense as to why he would wear such things in weather like this.]

[He's settling in next to Mukuro on the grass; it is a lovely day out, even with that sense of something missing.]

Well, before I'd even looked at my notebooks, there's things that don't quite make sense with everyone over the last year, nevermind my own memory of living the last year with some kind of looming shadow. [Yep. He's usually pretty good at covering his paranoia.]

And as for the notebooks... [There's a wry look... god there's a lot of things in those notes that are probably more than enough to guess what's going on THIS week.]

Notebooks,how very clever. Here I thought committing everything to memory was a more ideal choice. A pity I was wrong or I might be as well informed as you.

[Though he still didn't intend to take any notes. However unlike before when he refused out of paranoid precaution, now it was more because he didn't feel he cared enough about what was around him. e had gotten enough of the Author's pattern to do a vague prediction of how tumultuous an upcoming plot would be. It was all still guesswork obviously, but he was good with generalizing.]

I suppose you know a fair bit about myself then?

[He continues to smile, though he had no intention of pushing what he knew. He had gotten enough from Mikami to come to he conclusion that he didn't want to know.]

Detective force of habit; detailed records get to be a necessity, particularly when not everyone involved is paying as close attention as you are. [As much as what he'd managed to pick out of his own background felt alien to him, the habits were still in place, the casefiles under the bed and criminology books... even though it felt a little like a side hobby more than a main job.]

[And between what he remembered of some plots and some of his notes on Mukuro...he shrugged, leaning back to lay on the grass.]

A fair bit, at least what had been said around me and what few things I could figure out myself. Not sure how much you'd want to know, right now; things will go back to whatever passes for normal by the end of this week... and honestly, I started skipping notes related to myself, in favor of getting a break from it.

I know enough.

[The sentence came out dry and curt, much more so than he would usually allow. Aware of that fact and in an effort to divert attention away, he moves on with the subject.]

It seems we are of a like mind then, aren't we? At first I found this week rather dull and thought the little mystery would be an amusing source of entertainment. Now I believe I will simply enjoy the doldrum of the week.

[...Just from what he remembers from plots - it's enough for a pang of worry, and as much as he'd love to try to help, there's not much he could do ... and considering the situation... ]

Certainly nothing wrong with taking a break; I'd say we've both earned it.

And the peace is rather pleasant, really.

Mm.

[Was the only response he gave to Saguru's statements. He agreed, but at the same time was no longer capable of getting that break. His fate looming over him ominously, threatening to drive him mad. He knew he would be spending the week dreading the end of the plot and wondering if every train of thought and every instinctive reaction was brought about by some sort of garish past involving his eye.]

In the end it will simply be a frivolous matter though. I will return to how I originally was, as will you and in hindsight this 'break' will mean nothing.

[It was odd how such a morbid and bitter feeling came so natural. He did not think that he, as he was now, was fond of the person he would become by plots end should this sort of bitterness toward the world be a recurring familiarity.]

[And for Saguru, this is a moment of him realizing how disturbingly reflexive breezing past and wallpapering over certain things is - because as much as he's been able to function normally, he can't really say that he hasn't had his pending mortality and what he did read of his own situation looming in the back of his mind; some of that usual habitual poise drains out of his shoulders.]

At least... we'll remember it - it might not have a huge effect, but it's something. [And between his pending mortality and what he knows of Mukuro's history ... ] I'm not sure what to call it, getting some kind of outsider's perspective on your own life. [That comment does have a sidelong glance.]

I suppose it's a disturbing statement, that it's such an easy habit for me to try to act like nothing's wrong, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about you as well.

I thank you for your concern.

[And for once it's a genuine statement.]

It is strange at how this plot seems to be working. For me a find bitter cynicism to come most naturally, I fear that I may be an old man before my time.

[He chuckles a bit, making an honest joke in light of his own bleak predicament. Only mildly ignorant his he would receive the comment when his memories return.]

Judging from my notes and my own reflexes, you wouldn't be alone in that. Maybe we should find a pair of rockers and canes to bang at the stupid kids before this wears off.

[Yep. Mostly deadpanned.]

[Oh-ho? Two can play at that game. Mukuro easily slips into that calm but superficial smile he usually wore while his memories were intact to feign normalcy, only mildly startled at how easily acting came to him.]

Yes, I do believe it would be a terrible shame if they should ruin the lawn, would it not?

21st ILLUSION ||ROKUDO MUKURO|| [VIDEO/INPERSON]

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