badfic_manor | [Video]

[There's a loud crash of trash cans falling over as the feed comes on. Kid's face shows that he's clearly scared out of his wits as he struggles to maintain his balance on Beelzebub and keep going. He's breathing hard and sweating, as if he's been fleeing for quite some time.]

I know someone posted this up, but are we sure it's not just incredibly poor timing for the author to bring some of these people here? There's no way Asura can't be--

[Something off-screen causes Kid to cut himself off mid-sentence, and he banks a hard right. However, he overcompensates and ends up crashing against the wall of the alley he's in. The communicator goes flying, landing a few feet away and giving a sideways view of Kid pushing himself upright with a man in a red pinstripe suit completely covered in bandages standing over him.]

[Kid shakes as he stares up at the man, knowing this form from before he'd arrived at the manor.]

It's not real. It's just a hallucination. It's not real. It's just a halluci--

[His hand flies to his throat and starts working on trying to crush his own windpipe. Kid's lost in an illusion of Asura choking him, not realizing that the hallucination is forcing him to choke himself.]

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[ Well. That seems to have done the job. Kanda watches the poor kid make noises and try to breathe with relative disinterest. ]

There's plenty of shit around already. You could at least try to maintain control of your own body.

I didn't realize it was me choking me! [Kind of annoyed. And he coughs.] I saw his skin scarves choking me instead!

Sight can be mistaken.

[Strictly. Since when is it his job to lecture brats about their senses?]

Didn't you feel your own hand?

[Kid shakes his head.] Everything I heard, saw, touched, and smelled reinforced that I was being choked by someone else. I could still feel asphalt beneath the hand choking me and I felt the scarves instead of fingers. The illusion was perfect.

That's fucking creepy.

[Scowls at the screen, as if it's all Kid's fault. Then catches onto a minor detail that seems ridiculous to him.]

...you've got a bad guy that fights with scarves?

Not scarves. Skin scarves. He stretched his skin to use it to provide a sort of pseudo-clothing for himself. It's all he had since he's been sealed off in a bag of his own skin for 800 years.

[His dad was very not happy with Asura's becoming a kishin.]

He's a demon god of Madness. His Madness wavelength causes hallucinations and aggravates the tiny bits of Madness in everyone.

[Ew. Eww. That sounds like more body horror that he's seen in his own world and that one had plenty already.]

So a disgusting madness guy.

[Not the best hallucination one could ask for, really.]

...have you seen anyone else from... 'home'?

[Suddenly realizing that meeting Alma here could turn goddamn ugly.]

If you mean the Manor, just Dean, but I lost track of him a while back.

[Keep this up, Kid, and Kanda's expression will start resembling the butt of a cat.]

I mean whatever place you crawled out of before getting to the Manor.

[Give him a break. Some people seem to think the manor is home.]

No. I'm the only person from my world here that I know about.

[Silly people.]

What about the elephant-skin mirage there?

Asura? If that's really him, the author has lousy timing bringing him here. In addition to the hallucinations, he's a powerful demon god of madness. Afraid of basically everything but he's incredibly dangerous.

I fought with four of my friends against him just after he'd woken up and we still lost. Badly.

Ah.

[Pause.]

You don't look much of a fighting type.

[Well. Hallucination or not, it seems he was the only one to show up. And that's... good, probably. Makes it less likely other anticipated figures would appear. Maybe.]

I work better with my Weapons in hand, but I can fight. The problem is that my powers have basically been bound for the duration of...whatever this is. Which means a lot of my natural strength and resilience is gone.

You shouldn't rely just on your powers.

[ Look at who's talking. Though he could give sword lessons if you ask nicely. c: ]

I don't rely purely on them. However, they do make things easier. I just have to remember that I can't take as much damage as normal.

[Because, really, he should've been dead many times over given the kind of injuries he can live through.]

[ Oh look! It would seem that they have something in common. ]

Such as looking in the mirror?

[ s o r r y he just can't forget how much damage Kid took when his hair was brought to his attention ]

[WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!]

That...doesn't...cause physical...damage...

[ BECAUSE DOUCHE IS KANDA'S MIDDLE NAME ]

I don't remember it that way.

[He tries to handle it...]

[Nope. He'll just stay here: crushed and in the garbage heap of the alleyway. It's more than he deserves.]

...

[ Oh you can't possibly be serious. Kanda watches the pathetic mass on the ground, twitching, and then roars at his Blueberry like a bloody beast. ]

HOW THE FUCK IS THAT NOT PHYSICAL DAMAGE?!

[ What if monsters show up? NOW? See when he's not being a high school bully he's actually somewhat caring. Somewhat. ]

I'm not physically hurt. I just remembered what worthless scum I am.

Well you're being physically useless!

[ if Kanda was over there, he would be kicking you now. with good intentions. ]

Get the hell up and act like a man.

[He gets back up. You're kind of like Patti with her scary voice. However, he is staring down at the ground, miserable.]

[ Ha. Ha. Well, he'll take what he can get. Kanda seems just a tiny bit more forgiving once Kid is off the ground, but he's still annoyed. ]

Good. You can sulk later. Now focus on safety. Got it?

[He nods his head. He'll thank you for this later, Kanda. But right now, he's got his raging OCD that's still telling him that he sucks because he's asymmetrical.]

[ Good, good. Whoa, Kanda can actually do something good for a change. No reason to gloat in it, though. He huffs in a somewhat dismissing manner. ]

Right. Later.

[ He's even given a sort of a goodbye! Hell must be freezing over right about now. He lingers for a moment longer to make sure the kid doesn't fall back into the strange, vicious depression, and hangs up. ]

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[Video] I'M SORRY OTL

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