Mary Winchester | 25 | Accidental Video

[was_a_hunter]

[Mary (In Badou's body) doesn't even realize she's being recorded. There's a towel draped around the hips of her current body, a sheen of water signalling that she just got out of a shower.]

If I'm never a man again, it will be too soon...

[She'll never complain about woman problems again. No matter what she went through, it had nothing on being a man...freaking body had a mind of it's own.]

If this goes on much longer, Badou might be missing a vital part when he gets his body back...

Comments

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

[Awkward.

but.

...he can help with this one!] Think of something or someone real fugly. and having to.. touch them. yes in that way. the uglier, the better should go right away.

[and if not, maybe its just because he's been doing it that long...]

[was_a_hunter]

[Blushing as red as her current hair, Mary slowly turns to the camera. Oh, hell...she was not having this conversation. Not with him.

...But she was logging that information away for later. Putting her face in her hands, she has to try to calm herself down a little before responding.]

T-thanks...I appreciate it, but there are some things, it's a little weird to talk about...

[Like...you know...your mom's boners.]

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

Yeah, I know. Just. Being helpful.

[That, and it's also a little payback for laughing at him keep tripping over himself 8|]

[was_a_hunter]

Helpful or purposefully embarrassing me, one or the other. ...I can actually say this is a new one for the author since I've been here though.

Give me monsters over this any day.

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

She's never done anything like this before?

[was_a_hunter]

Not since I've been here, no. As far as I know, this is new.

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

Really? ....huh.

[Because not only has he had a real-life body swap happen (Well, to Sam, but details) from the very small amount of fanfiction he read, genderswaps were popular. Especially among the (*twitch*) shippers.]

[was_a_hunter]

Don't worry, I'm sure we'll be getting some old plots soon enough, she likes recycling her favorites. Those I'll be able to help out with more.

[You know...the ones where people die. Those she tended to be more fond of.]

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

I'm not worried. Just surprised that it's never come up earlier, actually.

[was_a_hunter]

So am I to be honest...she may have done it before I arrived though. It's only been maybe around a year since I first came here; apparently things were pretty hairy before then.

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

[He considers, then nods.] I guess it could have. Have you thought about asking anyone else what happened before you came here?

[was_a_hunter]

There's not many people here anymore that were here before me, the ones that are, I don't think would be willing to share that much.

Besides, even if I did, it wouldn't change anything. We're still trapped here and I still have no desire to go home.

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

But you'd get some heads up of what was happening.

[...wait...]

you... don't? That makes sense, I guess... but wait. If you know what's going to happen, you could change it if you get sent back. [Hopeful Dean is hopeful. and not thinking.]

[was_a_hunter]

Dean...I've already seen him and he's seen me. He wouldn't let me go. Even if he did, I couldn't leave Sammy to face him alone.

[Not knowing who he was and what he wanted. She knew what Yellow Eyes was capable of...if she knew what had been happening before she died, she would probably have put in a call to what was left of her side of the family and told John to take Dean out to a game or something.]

If there was a chance I'd survive, I'd love to go home. It's just not in our future though.

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

[Oh sure, crush that small spark of hope he had. He knew it was stupid to hope, but it is bad to hope that maybe, just maybe, someone he cared about could stay alive. But no, he did know better.]

I know. I just... [Just. Sigh.] Never mind, I guess.

[was_a_hunter]

I'm sorry...if we could find a way to bring me back afterwords, I'd love to go home. Until then though, this is where I can be the most useful.

[She wasn't going to go home just to die. Not when she had a purpose here.]

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

[...Oh, mary. Don't go giving him ideas. It'll be a good thing he won't remember any of this when he goes home.]

...I know a way...

[His tone says 'why didn't I think think of that before?' That's the only trouble with Mary being here. they'd learnt to live around her absence, even if it had left a gap that he couldn't fill. (Not knowing about things like deals and them being able to bring back the dead - because before that, it was all spells to make zombies, and that wasn't the same thing at all so it wasn't even a ghost of an idea - So it had never occured to him. And then he'd just got busy (and dead).) Here, that gap is filled. And he's too much attached all over again, doesn't want to go back to without her, but the difference for him being he's got to get back for Sam and Cas.]

[was_a_hunter]

[And now you have her curiosity peaked. She had an inkling of what you might mean, but she's hoping there are new ways since she was alive.]

What way?

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

the way doesn't matter. Just that I know it. [That's a definite plan of action. Home, escape from purgatory, mom. Sam can get to know her, and they can look after each other when he goes... And yeah, the idea of hell scares him shitless, it's true, but he's pretty damned sure he won't get another free pass to heaven. So he's just moving the date forwards.

Okay, he'll admit. It's not so much that he doesn't want to go back to living without her, as much as he doesn't think he can. It was hard enough to learn how to the first time, and after everything else he's lost... not her again.]

[was_a_hunter]

[And that just cinched it. He was talking about a deal...if it wasn't, he wouldn't have any trouble telling her. Steeling her features, she shook her head.]

No, Dean.

I don't want you doing a deal to bring me back...I've already lost your brother, I couldn't bear to lose you too.

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

You don't... you don't understand. I have to go back. But I can't go back to... not having you there. It was hard enough the first time.

you two... you can look after each other. [You'll do a way better job than he did, too.] And we'll get some time.

MARY NO IM WHIMPERING

[notkinkypatch]

[Alright so Reborn'd!Badou's pretty spiritually scarred too, nothing new here. At least as a toddler he can be a tad bit more dignifie- no? Okay. There's a whimper, a thin wail and the real Badou possibly standing up, teeny hands covering most of his new peepers]

Y-YOU MONSTER! LEAVE LIL- I MEAN BIG, GARGANTUAN, CAN-BE-SEEN-FROM-FUCKIN-SPACE HUGH ALONE! YOU...you sexy...delectable...toned monster...how the HELL did I get a three-pack after all this?

Anyway, just think of the crusty asscrack of one of your fellow co-workers, that usually does the trick.

Take care of my fuckin body! Or I'll find you an uhhhh...I'll take a shit in your bed, whoever you are! [Much finger pointing and intimidating looks from the two year old. Beware.]

XDDDD

[was_a_hunter]

[...There's just...staring. Really? Badou was...a toddler.

Still, even with his threats, she's rolling her eyes and is obviously all kinds of amused. This was the best thing to happen all plot.]

Badou?

Maybe I should come over there and change your diapers. And uh...good luck getting into my room, I'll have to make sure that you regret ever thinking of breaking in.

...Maybe a tattoo of a unicorn riding a rainbow on your face.

[notkinkypatch]

NO, IT'S SANTA CLAUSE, I'M TAKIN ON A NEW BUSINESS- ABDUCTIN' YOUNG AN HOT GINGERS FROM THEIR COZY BEDS, GIVIN' EM A GOOD HOME WITH THE ELVES DOIN SOFTCORE PORN-

[If that didn't give his secret id away, nothing will. There's a pause of consideration.] That doesn't sound very sexy at all. Make sure to powder my ass efficiently or else I'll toot in unsatisfaction. Powder everywhere, a damn fine mess.

You'd go through all that pain an swellin' an shit fer lil ol' me? Awe~ Dunno, seems more manly than a unicorn ridin' a big fucker /named/ rainbow. Nononono, this ain't the real problem. Your inner self is angry at somethin'...an it ain't just my shlong.
[He steeples his fingers together, intense face a-go!] Take a seat, right over there, let it all out. First thing's first, to get to inner peace we must deduce your true identity. Find yourself, my child.

[was_a_hunter]

[She can't help it any longer. Yes, she's openly laughing and having to desperately clutch at the towel to keep it from slipping down her hips.]

I can't believe that you have the gall to talk to me like that! [What indignation that may have been in her voice was drowned out by the laughter. No one dared to speak to her like that...even Gokudera didn't go quite that far.]

Baby...quite literally...you don't know what pain is if you think a tattoo is real pain~.

[notkinkypatch]

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE BORROWED MY BALLS T-TO THREATENED MY LIVELIHOOD LIKE THAT! Leave him alone, he didn't do anythin to deserve this travesty! HE'S JUST TRYNNA MAKE A LIVIN, PAY TAXES, THAT SORTA SHIT! [Whimper, wibble, sob WHY IS THIS STRANGER SO MEAN TO HIS PORK SWORD?!] Desperate short an curlies, desperate measures, man! L-Let's just be reasonable about this, c'mon. We're both...probably adults.

....I think my smartass mouth is aidin' you more than it's ever aided me! How the fuck is that fair, I coulda used that sass dodgin' mobsters.

Tch, I know what real pain is. Alright wise ass an gorgeous, what the hell is 'real' pain? [He scowls, oh so unamused. DON'T LET YOURSELF GO! EVERYBODY HUUURRTS!] Joke's on you! If ya put needles to my delicate skin, you'll unleash the power of Cthulu. Who put a curse on my lovely skin tone. That's how ya get ants. [Pulling this out of his ass diaper? Why yes.]

[was_a_hunter]

Well learn to keep it under a tighter leash and it won't be getting threats like that. [Really, how did men deal with that? For that matter, how the hell did he deal with not being able to breathe properly?! Damn, this keeps up much longer and she'll go cuckoo.]

You're right though. I shouldn't hit you there...I should really take away those cigarettes...for your own health. It shouldn't be this hard to breathe, you idiot. Damn, you'd think a lack of oxygen would make someone want to give up cigarettes.

[How dare you do this to her :|

A sly grin crosses her face.]

Let me shove a bowling ball through your precious genitals~. That's so much worse than a measly tattoo.

[notkinkypatch]

[Re!Badou points shakily and his face drains of all color as he wheezes] FIRST YOU THREATEN MY PRECIOUS NADS AN NOW YOU'RE BRINGIN UP KINKY SHIT?! WHAT THE EVER LOVIN FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR BEDROOM HABITS? DON'T PROJECT ONTO MINE, DAMMIT! [HELP! POLICE! A weiner psycho!] It ain't like I can just wave a wand an /my/ wand behaves. 'm talented but that's otherworldly.

Now you've gone too fuckin far. Nobody asked you t-to breathe! With my tar caked lungs! ]Zing! A really poor one.] Fer all you know back home we humans coulda adapted to breathin with cigarettes. Breathin as one. In harmony with all that poison an deliciousness. I'm in deep, babe.

[Badou's teeny arms drop down to grab at his teeny privates, and his face pinches uncomfortably] Whoa whoa whoa WHOA. WHOA. If you're trynna give me shit fer my shrink, get in line. I was born in the age after the internet, I've seen two girls one fuckin cup, I ain't easy.

[Wait, bowling ball. Shove. Bowling ball. Genitals. The cobwebbed cogs of his brain squeak.] OH! You've punched out some brats outta your lair of wonders is what ya mean. I don't know a lotta moms, an Slim Jim don't count cause his wig can't actually breathe, plus that mpreg thing was more implied-like...best two outta three? Three bein' if you can't see my junk it..can't...see you? Problem solved!

[was_a_hunter]

Oh, I don't know~ You seemed pretty interested in "The mechanic and the housewife" before. Suddenly you're not interested in my porno bedroom lifestyle~? For shame, Badou. I would have thought a man like yourself would be interested in my kinky bedroom habits. Oh well, I guess I have to share with someone else and find a new drinking buddy, hmm.

[That give you a clue who it is yet? If you don't get it from what she offered, she's lost all faith in your ability to think.]

Besides, I have to breathe for a week. Unfortunately for you, when you get your body back, you'll find one of these beauties. [Holds up a nicotine patch] I did you a favor and bought a stop smoking kit...you may be willing to torture your body, but I'm not going to.

[notkinkypatch]

[At first Mary's words don't register, Badou's mouth is ready to sputter out a retort when his mouth goes slack. Give him a minute to remember how to form words as well as pick his jaw up off the floor, por favor. Minutes of inner spiritual turmoil later, Badou can only shriek into the heavens]

MAMA BEAR?!

[Badou ain't called a professional for nothing. Hear his mad skillz.]

Awww yeaaah, I'm always interested in your kinky bedroom habits if it includes rippin' plaid off, juicy booties an those lil mom yoga pan- wait a second I'M SHITTY AT YOU, WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYIN!

[Sighs into tiny hands] We're both gonna owe each other a fuckton of booze once this is over...This is like the mornin' after an booze colored glasses but without the fun parts. Will Badou "Hard Boiled" Nails ever be able to look his Mama Bear in the eye again? Will Mama Bear have mercy an repent? Tune in next week.

Gonna violate my rights like that?! My body, my goddamn freckle-y temple! You've got no clue how long it's taken me to get it spruced like that.

[Utter humiliation aside, Badou's mood switches in an instant much like the teenaged girl he secretly is. There's a definite tenseness in his jaw, a hollow look in his eyes. You can tell he's trying to keep his tone even, normal.]
You took care of my body, haven't tatted up my face (yet), fine, you're doin what you can given the sexy circumstances, you're a good one. But if you're expectin a thank you other than a thanks-for-not-makin-me-a-eunuch beer, I ran out of those a long ass time ago.

[video]

[chest_rubber]

[Becky is giggling. By this point, she's caught on that some people have changed bodies.]

Maybe it would be better for him.

[was_a_hunter]

Perhaps...So, how do you like this plot so far? Hopefully you were a woman before the switch.

[chest_rubber]

Well, seeing Dean in his mom's body is really weird, but everything else is okay, I guess. Oh, I didn't switch bodies with anyone. I guess I lucked out on this one, but I bet the next one that only some will be pick will have me included and it'll be so much worse.

[was_a_hunter]

...Lucky you~. Don't take it for granted...as far as plots go, this is one of my least favorite.

Don't take what he says to heart if he snaps at you though. Dean has always been a bit temperamental when he's out of his element.

[chest_rubber]

I won't. Yeah, I can see why, but it only lasts a week or so, right? At least there's always the end of the event to look forward to.

... wait... Mary?

[was_a_hunter]

The end can't come soon enough, believe me.

Hello, Becky.

[chest_rubber]

I can imagine.

Oh, hi! ... wow, Dean being in your body must be really weird, huh? Of course, being in Badou's body is probably really weird too.

[was_a_hunter]

If I could breath better things would be more tolerable. It might even make the having to take cold showers better.

[chest_rubber]

He can't breathe really well? Why not? Is there something wrong with him?

[The second part makes her eyes widened.]

Wow... awkward.

[artificialflower]

[This is Kanda. Although he's in a powdered wig and generally seems to be Commodore Norrington, except with a much more homicidal expression than usual.]

That's fine. He seemed happy as a woman not so long ago.

[It was terrifying.]

[was_a_hunter]

Yes well...Don't be surprised if the next time you see him, he's speaking at a higher pitch.

[artificialflower]

I won't. Wouldn't be the first time.

[The cruel expression gets ruined when his nose twitches and he sneezes. How the hell could old men from centuries ago withstand all that fucking powder? Ugh.]

[Video] WELL THIS IS GOING TO BE AWKWARD.

[itsnotmybirthday]

Agreed. This morning was the first time I woke up without a "problem". It's ridiculous!

[If she knew she was really talking to Mary, she wouldn't have replied. Whoops.]

[was_a_hunter]

De-... [No. Not Dean.]

I haven't been as lucky unfortunately. This body is very...active.