40th Blast || Mello || [In Person]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Another city, another church. Mello is in St. Patrick's Cathedral, one of the cities oldest and largest Catholic churches. On first entering the church you won't see him, he's in the confessional. No one can hear his hushed voice, not even the faceless Priest who is meant to can. But Mello isn't really concerned about that right now.]

Bless me father for I have sinned, it has been five months since my last--

Who am I kidding? Father, I know you're not really a priest, you're not even really a human being. You're not even actually listening to this, I don't think you can. But it doesn't matter because I know who is listening, even if He has to look in over the Author's shoulder to do it. So don't bother with any phony words or the pieces of prayers you saw in The Exorcist or whatever. I don't need to hear it. I don't need to know what the Author or her puppets think. I just want to be heard.

[He sighs and pauses. The pause extends into seconds, then minutes, nearly three have passed before he speaks]

I should have died once already.

[A scoff]

There are a dozen times I can think of off the top of my head, but, I'm talking about...

[Another pause while Mello runs his fingers over the scar on the left side of his face, the bare tips feeling the jagged flesh of his cheek but his cheek feeling nothing.]

That explosive should have killed me, it should have killed everyone in that building. I built the thing, I know how it should have gone. I was standing well within the blast radius, there was absolutely no way I should have survived. But I did. I wasn't even hurt that badly, sure it messed up my pretty face

[he says this with a voice laced with irony]

but I made it without even going to a hospital. I knew then that there was a reason I survived. I understood what He wanted from me. If I lived it was because I had some role to fill, some job to do. I had a reason to be alive. And I thought I knew what that reason was. I was supposed to kill Kira. I was supposed to topple the false god. I was supposed to restore justice. And even when...even when I thought I'd lost everything there was still that promise. Kira would topple, Kira would die, justice and balance would be restored.

I thought I understood it, I thought I knew what He wanted from me. But now...I'm not so sure anymore. I've been able to ignore it for a while, the whole idea that I'm here in this chick's dream world without any rules or really anything to hold on to. But then B showed up...and now Kira. Kira is here! But there's nothing I can do. If I kill him here he'll come back and even if he dies the most horrible death I can concoct he'll still come back and Yagami'll probably think he's on par with the Almighty for it.

I can't stand seeing him, father. It makes my blood boil, but what the Hell am I supposed to do?! There's no escape, there's no reprise, there's no finality, there's not even a way to disrupt the status qua! I'm just...I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do and I'm out of ideas.

God, please, what do I do? I know I'm probably the last guy on your list right now but I just...I need...help.

[Then as if he hears someone outside Mello curses softly, and squeezes out of the Confessional. He sneaks back into the central nave. He peers around, searching for who came in and if they heard him.]

((OOC: Odds are no one heard his confession but feel free to bump into him in the church or nearby))

Comments

[ginsengismyfave.livejournal.com]

[The great doors of the church creak open as Iroh walks in. He shivers, throws back his hood, and takes in the sights of the church.]

At least it's warm here.

[He can tell that this is an important place, perhaps sacred.

He walks down the aisles, looking at the sights.]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Mello raises his eyebrows]

Didn't expect to see you here.

[ginsengismyfave.livejournal.com]

[Iroh gives a little bow by way of greeting.]

Good evening. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Mello shakes his head]

No, it's is opened to everyone. Always.

[ginsengismyfave.livejournal.com]

[Iroh takes a seat on a pew near to where Mello is.]

This is truly a grand place. It reminds me of the temple of the Fire Sages. Quite different, I understand, but I get the same sense of devotion and reverence.

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Mello nods]

One of the earliest Catholic churches in New York.

[Mello shrugs]

I'm not sure what Fire Sages are, so I can't compare.

[ginsengismyfave.livejournal.com]

Well, it certainly feels old.

The Fire Sages were the spiritual leaders of the Fire Nation before the Royal Family took over. They were in touch with the spirit of the world, and understood balance.

[He inhales, slowly, and looks around.]

I feel that this is a place where men understood spirit and balance as well.

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

Still understand. It's still a functioning church.

[ginsengismyfave.livejournal.com]

Is it? Well, that is comforting.

[He settles into his seat as best he can. They're not very comfortable.]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

I told you before, about Christ? Well, I mentioned him.

[Mello gestures around them]

This was built by his followers. Christmas Day this place will be packed with people. Or it would be in real New York.

[ginsengismyfave.livejournal.com]

You know, this holiday, Christmas, it fascinates me. From what I've heard, it seems to be a day of goodwill and peace, but it also worships Christ. He must have brought great understanding in his time, to still be so revered today.

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Mello smiles]

He did. Peace and goodwill were just two of the things he taught, he preached about understanding, selflessness, brotherhood, man's place in God's plan. He dedicated his life to spreading the word of God and died for it. It's been about 2000 years since he was born and his followers make up most of the world.

[He fiddles with his rosary.]

Christmas is the celebration of His birth. When His mother, the holy Virgin Mary, was visited by the angel Gabriel and told she would give birth to the Son of God.

[Mello smiles fondly. As an orphan Mary holds a very special place in his heart.]

[ginsengismyfave.livejournal.com]

[Perhaps in every world there must be a figure who preaches tolerance and balance, be it Avatar or the son of God.]

Universal messages. It is good to know that somehow they get spread and accepted.

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Mello gives another sad smile]

Wasn't always the chief religion. Christ himself was killed for his words.