40th Blast || Mello || [In Person]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Another city, another church. Mello is in St. Patrick's Cathedral, one of the cities oldest and largest Catholic churches. On first entering the church you won't see him, he's in the confessional. No one can hear his hushed voice, not even the faceless Priest who is meant to can. But Mello isn't really concerned about that right now.]

Bless me father for I have sinned, it has been five months since my last--

Who am I kidding? Father, I know you're not really a priest, you're not even really a human being. You're not even actually listening to this, I don't think you can. But it doesn't matter because I know who is listening, even if He has to look in over the Author's shoulder to do it. So don't bother with any phony words or the pieces of prayers you saw in The Exorcist or whatever. I don't need to hear it. I don't need to know what the Author or her puppets think. I just want to be heard.

[He sighs and pauses. The pause extends into seconds, then minutes, nearly three have passed before he speaks]

I should have died once already.

[A scoff]

There are a dozen times I can think of off the top of my head, but, I'm talking about...

[Another pause while Mello runs his fingers over the scar on the left side of his face, the bare tips feeling the jagged flesh of his cheek but his cheek feeling nothing.]

That explosive should have killed me, it should have killed everyone in that building. I built the thing, I know how it should have gone. I was standing well within the blast radius, there was absolutely no way I should have survived. But I did. I wasn't even hurt that badly, sure it messed up my pretty face

[he says this with a voice laced with irony]

but I made it without even going to a hospital. I knew then that there was a reason I survived. I understood what He wanted from me. If I lived it was because I had some role to fill, some job to do. I had a reason to be alive. And I thought I knew what that reason was. I was supposed to kill Kira. I was supposed to topple the false god. I was supposed to restore justice. And even when...even when I thought I'd lost everything there was still that promise. Kira would topple, Kira would die, justice and balance would be restored.

I thought I understood it, I thought I knew what He wanted from me. But now...I'm not so sure anymore. I've been able to ignore it for a while, the whole idea that I'm here in this chick's dream world without any rules or really anything to hold on to. But then B showed up...and now Kira. Kira is here! But there's nothing I can do. If I kill him here he'll come back and even if he dies the most horrible death I can concoct he'll still come back and Yagami'll probably think he's on par with the Almighty for it.

I can't stand seeing him, father. It makes my blood boil, but what the Hell am I supposed to do?! There's no escape, there's no reprise, there's no finality, there's not even a way to disrupt the status qua! I'm just...I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do and I'm out of ideas.

God, please, what do I do? I know I'm probably the last guy on your list right now but I just...I need...help.

[Then as if he hears someone outside Mello curses softly, and squeezes out of the Confessional. He sneaks back into the central nave. He peers around, searching for who came in and if they heard him.]

((OOC: Odds are no one heard his confession but feel free to bump into him in the church or nearby))

Comments

[one-eyed-zero.livejournal.com]

[siting in the pews, feet up on the one in front him. He has no respect]

Hey Mello Yellow. Been talking to yourself?

[In Person]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Great. Him.]

What the fu--

[But he catches himself]

What are you doing in here?

[He smacks Natsuo's feet off the pew]

[In Person]

[one-eyed-zero.livejournal.com]

[rolls his eyes]

I was looking around.

[notice the tribal mark on his shoulder~?]

and the doors were open.

[In person]

[p3rfect-kill3r.livejournal.com]

[It may come as a surprise when he sees Shiki stood just a little behind him, looking up at the Cathedral with a :/ sort of expression. He'd only really vaguely heard from the part about a guy making his blood boil. He knew all about that.]

Consider this. If you defeat this goal in your life, what will you have left after? In defeating him will you defeat yourself as well?

[In person]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Mello jumps at the sound of Shiki's voice and spins around. His hand instinctively goes to his waist line, where he keeps his gun when he doesn't have a holster. Obviously, he's weaponless, and obviously he immediately thinks he's screwed.

At Shiki's words his blue eyes widen but his pupils shrink to mad points.]

You were listening!?

[His voice is strangled and slightly mad. He can't stand the idea of being eavesdropped on, especially in a church. It's more than an invasion of privacy to him, it's like Shiki's prodding at his soul, at his very being]

[In person]

[p3rfect-kill3r.livejournal.com]

[Shiki just sits very calmly on a pew and folds his arms, his brows raised. He wasn't looking for a fight.]

Not intentionally. I didn't hear the whole thing. Not as though it's my place to tell anyone.

[He just shrugs.]

Perhaps if you'd allow me I could try and give advice. I know the feeling of dedicating your life to eliminating someone. Not that that'd come as a surprise to you.

[In person]

[blondefuse.livejournal.com]

[Nice is sat in one of the middle pews, just daydreaming to herself, when she notices Mello coming out of the confessional. She gives him a little salute

Hey..sorry, I didn' know anyone else was in here

[In person]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

It's fine.

[He shrugs reality back around him]

Enjoying yourself?

[In person]

[blondefuse.livejournal.com]

[She smiles and nods, pulling her jacket around her a little tighter]

Yeah..S'nice ta be able ta go home for a while

[ginsengismyfave.livejournal.com]

[The great doors of the church creak open as Iroh walks in. He shivers, throws back his hood, and takes in the sights of the church.]

At least it's warm here.

[He can tell that this is an important place, perhaps sacred.

He walks down the aisles, looking at the sights.]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Mello raises his eyebrows]

Didn't expect to see you here.

[ginsengismyfave.livejournal.com]

[Iroh gives a little bow by way of greeting.]

Good evening. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

[whitefacedclown.livejournal.com]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Mello eyes the stranger thoughtfully]

[whitefacedclown.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sorry I didn't see you there before.

[In Person]

[junior-cop.livejournal.com]

[Entering the Cathedral, Tom slowly steps through and careful not to disturb anyone. It was nearing the time of year where festivities are supposed to be in full swing only to have dreams shatter in a blink of an eye. He looks up at the symbols on the wall and nods. The candles gave the warm appearance of the home that they were supposed to be in but this wasn't his home and he knew it. Something was off....fake....littered with doubt. He didn't hear the confessional. It wasn't his business anyway.]

[In Person]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Mello is watching him, wondering what exactly he's doing here. Prayer? Exploration? Just to annoy him?]

[In Person]

[junior-cop.livejournal.com]

[Tom's instincts were certainly sharp enough to pick up that he felt an unwelcoming sense of irritation suddenly creep over him. It didn't take him long to figure out the source. It was better to apply diplomacy.]

Hi.

[gamer-anon.livejournal.com]

[To say that Matt isn't religious would be putting it mildly. Faith is a form of optimism, and Matt is a cynic.

He does believe in something though.

The redhead buries his hands in his pockets as the door slams closed behind him. A moment later and he's making his way of the aisle, pausing only long enough to light his cigarette from one of the candles.]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Mello actually smiles when he sees Matt because it means the argument has blown over. Or something. He needs Matt as much as he needs God]

Here to Confess? Or just take in the scenery?

[gamer-anon.livejournal.com]

[Matt smirks a little as he slouches down in the pew.]

Ask for forgiveness? Why lie on top of everything else.

[Because Mello knows that Matt doesn't believe in regret either.]

[In person]

[finalarbiter.livejournal.com]

[Light quietly wanders through the interior of the Cathedral. As a person who values reason and logic, there isn't much room in Light's heart for religion. The "people" praying here for miracles don't move him. No, what moves him is the architecture; the physical beauty of the space. In particular, he's drawn to the stained glass windows (http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3435/3706919568_d08029a819.jpg). He stares at the Saints, the martyred, the Holy. A curious thought occurs to him then. Visions of Kira, worshipped in his own House of God. He smiles to himself. ...Will I too be depicted with a nimbus?]

[In person]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[In Mello's opinion it isn't that there isn't room, it's that there's no heart at all. They are alone in the big empty church and something inside Mello starts to itch, starts to burn, his rage is building inside of him and he swallows hard to keep calm. Not here. Not now. Not him.

His hands shake as he clutches his rosary. He will not go after Light. He will listen to L. He will stand up to this test. Because that's what this is, right now. A test. He has to see it as that and not as cruelty on the part of the Author. It all goes above her, beyond her, it has to.

They are alone, so Light might here the jingling of the cross against beads as Mello's hands shake]

[cantapollygize.livejournal.com]

[Apollo's here for a number of reasons. One, the historic value of the place! Two, it was, uh, sort of close by and he was getting cold. orz, California, y so much warmer. Three, it's... kind of a nice, peaceful place where hopefully most people will have reservations about bothering him if he seems deep in thought, and he would sort of like a chance to think about things away from most of the creepy not-people.]

[And he does sort of have a very loose faith in a higher power; his foster-family was sort of a grab-bag of mixed religions. It was kind of awkward, and... yeah. Speaking of awkward, that nearly summarizes how Apollo's moving to go sit down. He very much has an aura of 'don't want to offend, but nobody in my family happened to be Catholic and this is moderately ridiculous'. He's going to sit down farthest back and look at his hands, turning his defense attorney's badge over in his hands.]

[worldsrunnerup.livejournal.com]

[Mello is exiting the confessional for a second time, after fighting with Light. Mello furrows his brow at he sight of the ridiculous haired lawyer. He can't place him for a second. Then the lightbulb goes off.

Right.

He's a defense attorney.

Fuck. Him.

But he's in God's house, so he'll play nice]