badfic_manor | Video/Action

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Video/Action

[The beach, the water, the blue sky...it's paradise. In theory. Because one man's paradise is another man's hell, and that man would be Matt. The only possible, logical reason for him to be sitting on the beach, his towel spread out between him and that cursed sand, is that he's under orders to do so.

He looks miserable.

And pissed.

And his nose is covered in sunscreen.

Matt takes a drag from his cigarette before letting it rest on a small plastic ashtray. He reaches for a neon green gun and points it at his head, closing his eyes before pulling the trigger. Squirt! The stream of cold water hits his cheek, and there's very very temporary relief from the heat.

Matt reaches for his cigarette, but it's not exactly where he left it. The ashtray has mysteriously 'grown' eight legs and is walking away.

Anyone for crab legs?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah.

Too bad we don't have some potatoes and little ears of corn.

[And not to feed 'crabby', either.]

Crabs don't eat potatoes and corn, silly.

Nope. But Matts eat all three.

[Ed cocks her head and looks at Matt]

Matt eats fiddler crabs?

[She points to him]

Matt is Matt?

Matt eats damn near anything when he's hungry. Christ, am I really talking about myself in third person?

Look, let's see if we can find some more. That one's not even a mouthful.

Then Matt-Matt is like-like Ed-Ed! Ed eats eeeeverything when she's hungry!

[Ed skitters onto all fours and then into a sitting position. She gives Matt a broad smile]

Okay!

[She is almost instantly digging in the sand, searching for crabs]

[Damn. Digging. That's a lot like work.

...She seems to be good at it though.

Matt considers that for a moment before lighting up another cigarette.]

Great. I'll supervise.

Affirmative!

[Ed is already up to her elbows in sand, muttering "dig, dig, dig" to herself]

Supervise-supervise! watch Ed go!

[Matt leans to the side, trying to avoid the flying sand.]

How's it going there, cadet Ed? Find anything?

[He blinks.]

Keep digging like that and we'll be eating chinese food instead of seafood.

Chineeese foood!

[Ed pops up drooling a little before going back to digging]

Edward looooooves Chinese food! And Edward loves seafood! China seafood! East China Sea food, South China Sea food!

[She stops digging again and falls backwards in the sand.]

Now Ed is really huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuungry.

...Didn't find anything, huh.

[Matt sighs.]

One little crab ain't gonna do any good.

[He takes a thoughtful drag from his cigarette.]

Guess we could sneak a little of Mello's chocolate for some s'mores.

[Ed sits bolt upright and jumps in Matt's direction. She perches frog in front of Matt leaning up into his face]

choooooclate?

[Matt blinks and leans back a bit.]

Yeah...

Can't take much though. He'll kill us both.

[Pause.]

Seriously, shoot us where we stand.

Bang-bang-bang! Zoooooooom!! Boom!! Boom! Boooooooooom!!! Kur-poooooooow!!!

[She has hand motions too, throwing herself around with each blast as if she's either the explosion itself or some poor victim. Then she nods sagely sitting completely still as if she hadn't thrown herself in the sand several times]

Edward understands.

[Pause. Well...that was quite the display. Kind of like Mello mid-tantrum. The two of them together would be a force of nature.]

You sure you haven't already had chocolate?

[Ed shakes her head quickly]

Nuh-uh! Edward hasn't had chocolate since...

[She taps her chin in thought]

Since before the spooky space alien!

[she puts on a scary-stories-around-the-campfire voice for those last three words]

Right. Let's save that for after we get the chocolate.

[He doesn't want to spend his last moments hearing about it in case they do get caught.]

You sneak into the tent, I'll keep watch outside.

[Ed stands up straight as a rod and salutes Matt]

Aye-aye Matt-Matt!

[Then she does a somersault onto her hands and tip~~toes~~-fingers into the tent]

[Matt glances around while he's waiting. Of course, if Mello shows up, he'll totally sell her out. :| ]

[There is a long pause and then....

it sounds like a bomb went off.

Things must be falling over and breaking, Ed's scrambling around loud, God knows how someone so small is making this much noise. She giggles. Matt will have to call her name or peek in before she actually comes out.]

[Even Matt jumps a little at the initial noise. He eyes the tent for a few moments, eyebrow arching.]

Hey! Save the fuckin' pieces.

Got the goods yet?

[Ed pokes her head around the tent, there's chocolate in her mouth and more in her hand. She crawls out from under it, flattening herself inhumanly to do so. She sits down in front of him and offers him a chocolate bar]

Goods-goods!

Edited 2010-07-20 03:24 (UTC)

Good work. I'll grab the other stuff and we'll get the hell away from the scene of the crime.

[Ed giggles madly]

The accomplices escape into the night before the authorities are any wiser!

Edward also found this!

[She reaches inside the tent again and holds up his PSP. She looks rather pleased with herself. Be careful Ed's first instinct is to take it apart.]

[...Oh snap.]

Uh. That's mine.

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