badfic_manor | [Audio]

[Light is sitting cross-legged on his bed, his expression alternates between fury and hopelessness at a book that he has unknowingly opened upside down in his lap. The endless stream of bickering coming through the Blackberry is irritating the hell out of him. Clearly the investigation lacked leadership, because from the sound of it, all of the self congratulatory morons were running around like headless chickens. But even so, this is a transient distraction that he clings on to, because otherwise he would be forced to think about how stupidly helpless he felt at the moment. The truth is, Light cannot bring himself to contribute to this investigation; being unable to read has left him feeling as though he is without a right arm.
When yet another message comes through the network, he grabs his own Blackberry and hisses angrily.]

Either try for some goddamn unity or be quiet.

[There is an audible sigh, before the feed switches off.]

[[ooc: Basically Light is illiterate until Sunday. Stick poke if you want to. Figured it'd be a relief from all the srs bsns. Good luck trying to get him to admit that he can't read if you do.]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Heh. Given how incredibly competent these so-called detectives are, you're more than likely to get away with it.

And a slow chase they pursue. Not that I mind a bit of incompetence now and again though I do like a challenge, eh? Poor ol' Jack's beginning to feel a bit unwanted with no challenge and no one worthy to stand up and take me on the game.

Oh, I'm sure. Challenges are the only reason games are ever worth playing. But what, pray tell, is the nature of your game?

Pirate.

[There's a grin in there.]

[Light would have rolled his eyes at this, scoffed, or at the very least falsified an excuse to end the conversation, but had he done that he would have been forced to dwell on his own inadequacies.]

And your crew?

Not here. Though I am in the process of accruing such people once my ship is built.

[He's used to that. He's not really all that surprised that people would ask.]

Ah.. I see. Where exactly do you plan on setting sail to once it is completed? [Assuming you can actually escape this place.]

I intend to live on it and be away from this weirdness not that I would have any place to sail. My element is on the water and that, my friend, is where I intend to be. No more mops and no more being chased with mops.

[Mops? The connection with a certain Aoko Nakamori registers near instantly. There was either a very funny story to be told.... or more likely the usual lackluster predictability. Most probably the latter.]

I take it you've fallen on the wrong side of a certain air-head school girl?

[There's a slight smirk in his tone.]

Oh! You've heard of her. Aye, she has on more than one occasion chased me through the halls with a mop and has uses a hose on me even after I had taken said bath more than once. Needless to say, this pirate cares for no repeat.

How inconsiderate of her.
[Not that Light's tone sounds particularly considerate either.]
I do find it amusing that she would take it upon herself to bathe you. I was under the impression that she was interested in someone else.

[His tone changes to one that has a "boy talk" lift to it.]

Perhaps she couldn't keep her hands off of me.

[There's a smirk hidden in there.]

[He laughs quietly.]

That's rather unfortunate. I'll leave it up for debate as to who it's unfortunate for.

There is no debate about it. She's obsessed with me and had to see me wet.

[Of course he knows that's not true but hey, never hurts to feed the ego some.]

She follows me everywhere and she has to inquire about my bathing habits. If that doesn't scream obsession, perhaps ol' Jack is too much for the girl not to take in.

[Definitely not his type but he'll go with it.]

[This gets a laugh if only for the bizarre image it conjures. Light may not have had a very high opinion of Nakamori, but he certainly wouldn't wish a Jack's misguided, drunken affections on her either.]

I wouldn't be so sure about that. I did see her during that week with the mistletoe everywhere with another person. She wasn't complaining either.

As if she would. I stayed away from that little dangling fruit for reasons that I shall not speak of openly...or I would if the circumstances called for it.

Aoko is like a little snake and all the little male snakes have to fight for her affections. Whereas I am the weasel that eats snakes...not that I would eat any of them though the thought of burying one of them neck deep in the sand has crossed my mind.

[Light can take a guess who he's referring to.]

I shan't lie, that would have been an amusing sight to say the least.

Aye, if you don't mind the smell.

[And there's a soft chuckle.]

I think it's safe to say in this case- well, depending on which of the three you are referring to- that the smell would most certainly be worth the end result.

Ah, how true that would be.

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