Badfic Manor

[The feed switches on to show a very unamused, disheveled looking Light hiding out in what appears to be a warehouse. He's speaking very quietly as to avoid catching the attention of anything that might be in the vicinity.]

I don't know how the rest of you are faring, but speaking solely for myself, I don't think it's a good idea to try surviving this alone. I'm willing to cooperate with anyone who wants to work as a team to make it through the end of this godforsaken plot. Let me know if you are likewise willing to do so.

[When Light wakes up this morning, he feels, for once, well rested. Stretching as he rolls out of bed, he grabs his phone to check the time. However, it's not the time that alarms him, it's the date. The thirtieth of May? He rubs his eyes furiously, suddenly very awake. Had he really spent a month sleeping? He had heard of people falling asleep for a week at the Manor, but surely not an entire month. He certainly didn't feel any differently- his hair for one, didn't seem to have grown any longer, nor had his fingernails for that matter. Bolting up right, he quickly gets himself dressed. A few minutes later, the feed clicks on to show Light Yagami looking somewhat bemused.]

I don't suppose someone might be willing to fill me in on what happened? I...[He clears his throat.] seem to have been knocked unconscious for an extended period of time. Thank you.

[Returning to the Manor- correction: filthy, decrepit Manor- means one thing: The return of cabin fever. But it's slightly different this time. It is to Light's extreme delight that Mello's name has been taken off the Blackberry contact list (and is therefore dead again!), and that the Author has seen fit to comply with the removal of one owl-eyed detective (sadly, not dead) from his room. Perhaps it's nothing more than a whim on her part, but nonetheless it succeeds in making Light unusually cheerful. Once the dust is gone, and his belongings are more or less back in order, Light has a few things to take care of.]

[Locked to Near]
( The beginnings of a snark fest go here )

[Locked to Hakuba and Conan]
( Plans. Light has them. )

[Locked to L]
( Secrets, supposedly. )

 Mikami-san, a word?

 [Though Light is, by most people's standards an early riser, even by Light's exacting standards five-thirty in the morning is much too early. He tosses lazily in-between his covers, his brain still drowsy and recovering from the exhausting fantasy world of rapid-eye movement sleep to process the constellation of neuronal activity that would have otherwise led to four immediate conclusions. As Light reluctantly clears his eyes of sleep, he is able to reach one of those conclusions-- an embarrassing twenty five percent for the genius-- and that is, he is no longer a child. 

Immediately he bolts up-right, simultaneously examining one of his normally sized hands, and flattening his spectacular bed-head with the other. Despite himself and the absurd hour, he smiles slightly. All the neck craning of last week had frankly gotten quite annoying. Being his normal size at least, put him at greater ease, though of course, all this meant was that the Author had started some new mysterious plot. Fifty percent. ...And judging from his surroundings, the luxury sheets- decidedly not his own- and the hotel style accommodations he found himself in, well... Ugh. He groans. It couldn't be so bad. At least this place is comfortable.

A conclusion that mollifies the newly adult-again Light.  ....That is, until he hears the sound faintly echoing off in the distance again. It's not quite a lion's roar, no, Light isn't even sure that he can call it feline. If anything, it has the acoustics of a strangled amalgamation of cetacean, avian, feline and homo sapien shrieking all combined into one bone-rattling hiss played backwards. It's the sound that woke Light up initially. There's only one association he makes with such a noise, thanks to his country's bullshit popculture phenomenon otherwise known affectionately as Godzilla. But of course, the Author wouldn't do that, would she? Shit. SHIT.

Throwing the sheets off of himself, he throws the curtains wide open and is immediately relieved to find that they are not, in fact, in Tokyo. But the giant logo, the last emblem he wanted to see, the words "Jurassic Park" emblazoned in fiery red and black letters, makes Light lose his cool-- almost. Seventy five percent. He clenches his fists, until his knuckles turn white. His breath is released slowly, over the span of ten seconds as he calms down. The moment passes, and soon the urge to shout subsides. He could deal with this. Really.

It isn't until he turns the door knob, and finds a large banner taped to the front of his door that reads:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIGHT!!

But it's not the banner that causes Light to snap. It's the enormous pile of balloons.]


...I'm going to kill you...


((ooc: It's Light's birthday today! I couldn't resist. Um... also, link is slightly NSFW. Imagay! Geddit, geddit? ...Yeah, I'm lame, shut up.))

[Light is sitting cross-legged on his bed, his expression alternates between fury and hopelessness at a book that he has unknowingly opened upside down in his lap. The endless stream of bickering coming through the Blackberry is irritating the hell out of him. Clearly the investigation lacked leadership, because from the sound of it, all of the self congratulatory morons were running around like headless chickens. But even so, this is a transient distraction that he clings on to, because otherwise he would be forced to think about how stupidly helpless he felt at the moment. The truth is, Light cannot bring himself to contribute to this investigation; being unable to read has left him feeling as though he is without a right arm.
 When yet another message comes through the network, he grabs his own Blackberry and hisses angrily.]

Either try for some goddamn unity or be quiet.

[There is an audible sigh, before the feed switches off.]



[[ooc: Basically Light is illiterate until Sunday. Stick poke if you want to. Figured it'd be a relief from all the srs bsns. Good luck trying to get him to admit that he can't read if you do.]]

[Anyone who wanders in the kitchen will find Light sitting at the table using his newly honed water bending abilities to manipulate hot water from the kettle into a mug in which he has added a few fragrant loose leaf green tea leaves. As the molecules move in synchronized unison, and carefully fill up the cup, the corners of his lips twitch upwards in smug satisfaction for a short moment. 

The smile disappears as a rumbling crash seemingly shakes the entire Manor. Silverware rattles and plates threaten to fall off the table. The tea cupped in his hands however, remains safe, not even a single droplet spills onto the floor; Light's power holds it steady. He takes a careful sip of the hot liquid, as he muses. The rest of the world seemed as though it would end at any moment. Light never believed in nonsense like the end of days, or Armageddon, but what was happening outside wasn't so far off from that. He switches on his Blackberry and sends out a text message.]

Does anyone have any idea of what is going on?

[At first the feed displays only a gray colored panel. There is a light "fluff" noise, that sounds as though somebody has just flung the comforter off the bed which in fact, happens to be the case exactly.]

...What the hell? Oh- OH WHAT THE-?!

[There is a string of angry footsteps that become progressively louder. The sound of drawers being slammed open can be heard. Scuttling noises accompany them as fingers frantically grab at their contents. But all this is much less interesting than what is being displayed on the feed for a whirl of pink and white cotton comes into focus, replacing the monochromaticity of the gray ceiling. Light Yagami's face cannot be seen, save for an single instant in which he turns his head to look directly at the blinking light of the Blackberry.]

You've got to be kid-

[He stretches his hand out and the feed cuts.]

Misa,
I want to see you again.
Will you meet me at the Metropolitan Museum of Art?
-Light