badfic_manor | ▓ Martini 11 ▓ // (forward dated after B's capture) There are worse things, perverse things // [vid]

[Cabin fever was a dangerous thing. Especially when it came to a certain Canadian. Since the announcement of B's arrest and capture, Wallace decided that hey, it was time to celebrate. All this doom and gloom needed shifting, and nothing broke the ice like a little bit of filthy humour. So he'd buried himself in the kitchen, (avoiding the dishwasher at all costs -- nngh corpses), and started baking. There was a batch of cookies already in the oven, but there was something.. a little off about the shaping and decorations of the already completed batch. The pilot for what he was about to do. Appearing on the network he grinned, not that outright annoying kind no one wants to see at a time like this, but it was assuring.]

Hey. We need some downtime and I've got just the idea. [Picking up a cookie, it's shape is ambiguous before it comes into focus. It's a boob biscuit, complete with icing and chocolate chip nipples. Because hey, to the general public boobs are more acceptable than peens, lord knows why.] I've got jugs, junk or butts, whatever floats your boat guys. Ya wann'em, they're in the kitchen with me.

Oh! and I've got a batch cooking now if you wanna decorate your own.

[He turns off the feed, content his job was done and turns to the iPod dock he'd dragged in from his room. Inappropriate music ahoy.]m

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've seen stranger things I suppose.

Some normal ones would be lovely, thank you.

Do you need any help?

Yeah, come on over. More the merrier right?

[After the feed he turns back to the oven and hoists the latest batch out, leaving them to cool on the side.]

[she makes her way to the kitchen, it doesn't take her long as she's been there enough in recent days.

She comes in and offers her hand.]

I'm Lucy, Lucy Saxon.

[Formality huh? Well she sounded pretty important in her home world. So he takes the hand and shakes it loosely, focusing more on his broad smile than grip. Smiles conveyed more than a handshake to him.]

Wallace Wells, nice to meet you. You're newish around here right?

Nice to meet you too Mr. Wells.

[Lucy nods]

Yes. I'm still getting my bearings. But I thought it best to keep out of the way whilst people were being murdered.

Oh, dude, just call me Wallace. We're pretty much living together, first names are a must.

Heh, bit of a given, but it's cool. There anything you need to know, or you got it covered?

Alright, Wallace.

[she smiles]

People have been very helpful, despite the circumstances. It's not been as bad as I imagined, actually. Thank you for the offer though.

However, a cookie would be super. I can't remember the last time I had a cup of tea and a biscuit.

[Wallace nodded and hoisted a biscuit from the counter and held it up, making arm gestures like he was about to throw it to her.]

Catch. Careful not to get any icing on you.

[With that he underarms it towards her, gentle enough so it could be caught.]

[Lucy manages to catch the biscuit. She smiles, licking icing from her fingers.]

I've never had anyone throw food at me before. Thank you.

[her father being a Lord, she had a very polite, well mannered, but boring childhood]

[Wallace stops in his tracks and looks at her for a few moments. Wasn't surprising but jesus, had this woman never lived?]

What, never? You've gotta be kidding me.

[she smiles at his reaction]

No.
I've had other things thrown at me, usually chairs, but never food. Maybe one day I'll get into a food fight.

[Deciding that bringing up the chairs matter was probably left for when he wasn't trying to brighten the mood, he scoops up a wad of icing on his finger. He examines it for a moment before flinging it towards Lucy.]

Well ya just got your wish. Get yourself armed woman!

[That was a good plan.

Lucy doesn't see the icing coming her way and it lands on her cheek. She stares at him, open mouthed, then grins]

I warn you I'm a very good shot.

[Lucy finds a bag of flour and, after hesitating for just a moment, she lets loose with a handful of it]

[He couldn't help but laugh (and then imminently choke) on the light shower of flour. It was an interesting sight to see someone as 'proper' as Lucy just let go so quickly. Repression did funny things to people like that.]

I'll have-- to watch myself huh?

[With that he scooped up a baking tray for a shield and grabbed a wad of cookie dough. Licking his lips he then sent it flying towards he general direction. He didn't care if it hit her, it was just so that she could have some fun for a while.]

[Lucy was quicker this time and grabbed a nearby spatula quick as a flash to deflect the wad of cookie dough and send it flying back.

As the dough splattered she descended into a fit of giggles like a school girl. She couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed like this.]

Is that the best you can do?

[Puffing out his chest in a comical manner he then takes mock offence, mostly to distract her from the egg he was reaching for. Spatula or not, he was going to make it count. She must have played Badminton a lot, or whatever posh people played involving racquets.]

Hah. I'll have you know I have the most notably bad over-arm. I was merely testing you.

[With that he hurtles the egg towards her, aiming not for her face but her general torso area, hoping it was quick enough to do something.]

[Lucy squeals as the egg hits her and cracks, covering her in slimey goop.

In retaliation she takes a fistfull of butter and rolls it into a large ball before hurling it at him]

Ever heard of fast food?

▓ Martini 11 ▓ // (forward dated after B's capture) There are worse things, perverse things // [vid]

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