badfic_manor | ▓ Martini 11 ▓ // (forward dated after B's capture) There are worse things, perverse things // [vid]

[Cabin fever was a dangerous thing. Especially when it came to a certain Canadian. Since the announcement of B's arrest and capture, Wallace decided that hey, it was time to celebrate. All this doom and gloom needed shifting, and nothing broke the ice like a little bit of filthy humour. So he'd buried himself in the kitchen, (avoiding the dishwasher at all costs -- nngh corpses), and started baking. There was a batch of cookies already in the oven, but there was something.. a little off about the shaping and decorations of the already completed batch. The pilot for what he was about to do. Appearing on the network he grinned, not that outright annoying kind no one wants to see at a time like this, but it was assuring.]

Hey. We need some downtime and I've got just the idea. [Picking up a cookie, it's shape is ambiguous before it comes into focus. It's a boob biscuit, complete with icing and chocolate chip nipples. Because hey, to the general public boobs are more acceptable than peens, lord knows why.] I've got jugs, junk or butts, whatever floats your boat guys. Ya wann'em, they're in the kitchen with me.

Oh! and I've got a batch cooking now if you wanna decorate your own.

[He turns off the feed, content his job was done and turns to the iPod dock he'd dragged in from his room. Inappropriate music ahoy.]m

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[You have +1 detective wandering in. He's missed a couple buttons on his shirt, his tie's missing, his jacket's open, his hair's still wet from a shower, and he looks like he hasn't really slept in a week.]

[He kind-of zombie-homes-in on a cupboard, rifling through bag tea for a tin of loose-leaf, and sets the kettle boiling before he even seems to notice the rest of the kitchen....]

[Aaand the trays of cookies.]

....Huh. [It's almost like this is normal.]

[Wallace looks up after beginning to decorate the cooling 2nd batch. The guy looked like the dead walking. So, play it friendly.]

Hey amigo, ya want some?

[He thinks it over for a moment, then shrugs, reaching over to pick one up. He's not even entirely paying attention to what; it is a bit of a Zen moment - it is sugar, and therefore a cheap metabolism prop.]

Sure. Thank you.

[Catching a glimpse, it's a butt one. He chuckles and raises a brow at Hakuba.]

So...you're an ass kinda guy?

[He blinks, and seems to wake up slightly, or at least snap out of the daze, and glances down at the one he was idly nibbling on.]

It looked as good as any of the others?

You need some caffeine - make ya feel better.

[Wallace snorts and pats his shoulder, getting the kettle ready and boiling for him.]

Tea or coffee?

[After all this last week, and even an hour or so ago, the normalcy is almost surreal.]

Ah - tea, thank you. [Oh god blessed sugar.]

[... He really should think sometime about his diet when he was on a case.]

[With that he gets to making it. Though, he recognised his voice as the guy who'd announced B's capture. He had to be pretty stressed, so, time to break out the mundane sort of conversations, help him see he was actually back to normality.]

How many sugars do you take? cavity inducement in a cup or none at all? But I guess with the sugar content in that cookie you'll be in a diabetic coma either way..

Mnn. 's two - not much. [If anyone tries to budge the cookie right now, they might lose a hand; he's starting to feel the beginnings of the war between what his body would accept while still on a nervous energy high, and the pangs of starvation.]

[In a shorter paraphrase: You're feeding a starving teenage boy, detective or no.]

[The kid seemed barely coherent. Hot drink, hot meal and a good night's rest was really what he needed. The laughs could always wait. Returning back to the boy he's placed two slices of buttered toast next to the mug of tea.]

Eat up. [He leaned down and gave him a soothing rub on his shoulder.] And get some rest. 'Kay?

[He blinked - he knew he was running on fumes, but hadn't realized it was that noticeable.]

I - [He glances at the toast, and at - well, he's never really properly met Wallace...]

...Thank you. [There's a weak smile.] ...You're right... I should rest.

[It probably was noticable, but Wallace spent a lot of his time mothering other people, he was good at reading people by now.]

No problem. I'll save you some cookies for when you come to later.

▓ Martini 11 ▓ // (forward dated after B's capture) There are worse things, perverse things // [vid]

[In Person] Okay, I had to.

[In Person] XD not a problem!

[In Person]

[In Person]

[In Person]

[In Person]

Re: [In Person]

[In Person]

[In Person]

[In Person]

[In Person]

[In Person]