badfic_manor | ▓ Martini 11 ▓ // (forward dated after B's capture) There are worse things, perverse things // [vid]

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▓ Martini 11 ▓ // (forward dated after B's capture) There are worse things, perverse things // [vid]

[Cabin fever was a dangerous thing. Especially when it came to a certain Canadian. Since the announcement of B's arrest and capture, Wallace decided that hey, it was time to celebrate. All this doom and gloom needed shifting, and nothing broke the ice like a little bit of filthy humour. So he'd buried himself in the kitchen, (avoiding the dishwasher at all costs -- nngh corpses), and started baking. There was a batch of cookies already in the oven, but there was something.. a little off about the shaping and decorations of the already completed batch. The pilot for what he was about to do. Appearing on the network he grinned, not that outright annoying kind no one wants to see at a time like this, but it was assuring.]

Hey. We need some downtime and I've got just the idea. [Picking up a cookie, it's shape is ambiguous before it comes into focus. It's a boob biscuit, complete with icing and chocolate chip nipples. Because hey, to the general public boobs are more acceptable than peens, lord knows why.] I've got jugs, junk or butts, whatever floats your boat guys. Ya wann'em, they're in the kitchen with me.

Oh! and I've got a batch cooking now if you wanna decorate your own.

[He turns off the feed, content his job was done and turns to the iPod dock he'd dragged in from his room. Inappropriate music ahoy.]m

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[Deliberately taking a highly suggestive bite out of the larger penis cookie he fumbles for his blackberry in his pocket with the free hand.]

I got a picture because I didn't think you'd believe me - hang on.

[He then sends the picture of the oh so familiar peen cookie to Light, scrawled in icing strangely clearly it reads: Eat this and you're my bitch forever.]

See, I just thought you were ignoring it. Shoulda mentioned it.

[Light watches, trying to keep the amusement clear from his expression. The effort is made a lot easier when he checks the image on his blackberry. His eyes narrow upon reading the now comprehensible text, and he looks at Wallace, with a somewhat strained smile.]

...Very clever, you bastard. I declare this null and void on account of extenuating circumstances.

[Wallace hums lowly and ponders this, drumming his fingers on his chin. Deliberately making Light wait for his decision.]

Oh, I guess I could let you off. Buuut, shouldn't you have just told me? I'd say you're just as guilty for being stubborn. So, I'm not sure I'm convinced.

[....]

...And insult your intelligence by stating the obvious? I would never.

[Wallace lets out a long: pssssssssshhht. Sort of noise before slapping him on the back, returning that shit eating smile.]

Bullshit. You're not getting out of it that easily.

And what if I asked nicely?

[His brows raise wickedly and shoots him a smirk.]

Now that depends entirely on what you're willing to do to get out of this~

[A sigh. Light is willing to go along with this for now.]

Well, let's hear your ideas.

[Well, he was actually giving him a chance to list his demands?]

For one you could suck it up and accept you're now my bitch out of your own ignorance. Or.. I could just let you take this as a cautionary tale just so long as you agree to meet with me once.

[He raises an eyebrow.]

Seeing as the chances of the former happening are close to zero, let's move on to your latter suggestion. I'm assuming that this meeting doesn't count.

[His grin broadens.]

You sure you're gonna like the latter any better?

It depends on exactly what you mean by "meet."

Oh, Light, really? Even in knowing my track history you remain naive? Silly boy~

I thought I might try giving you the benefit of the doubt. I should let you know though...

[He leans over and grabs a boob cookie to emphasize his point.]

I do have a girlfriend.

[Wallace lets out an unimpressed snort and shakes his head.]

I can turn any guy I want. Proven fact. You really think a girlfriend matters?

[Wallace's confidence has Light almost intrigued, though he doesn't show it. He slowly licks off a patch of icing.]

Perhaps. Perhaps not. But remember, pheromone week doesn't count.

[Oh he sees what he was doing there. Turning it into a innuendo-off. His brows raise as his right arm shoots to the side of Light's head, his forearm resting on the wall as he leans that little bit close to be anything casual. He's not talking loudly, but he isn't whispering either, a light husk to his tone as his starts ghosting his breath over Light's ear.]

I don't need the Author's influence to make me any better at what I do. I've got ten years of experience and never once has it failed me. But the fact is, if you weren't interested you wouldn't be encouraging, now would you?

[Ignoring the physical proximity, Light laughs quietly. As filthily as possible, while somehow managing to look demure, he licks off another patch of icing. He forces himself to keep a straight face at the sweetness.]

Extrapolate whatever meaning you like. It's all the same to me.

[Cocking his head and chuckling under his breath he lingers in front of Light's face, inches away from him. But he did nothing, all the while managing to conjure the illusion he was about to from out of nothing. Perhaps it was his expression, that glint in his eye, the arrogant but oh so charming smirk - the fact he'd left the last 10% for Light to move-- whatever it was. It was an art to him. One he perfected.

Though the final hint was his thumb delicately brushing over Light's bottom lip. Looking from his eyes, to his lips, then back up again.]

We'll have to see won't we?

[Light recognizes Wallace's little trick, precisely because he has used it himself. The perfect smile, the textbook use of reverse psychology that made the other person think they wanted to close the distance.. Heh. It might have even worked on another person, but Light is no such idiot. There is no hopeful fluttering heart beat here; the only sign that Light gives to acknowledge Wallace's game is an equally confident smirk. Two could easily pay this game. He parts his lips slightly, and slowly flicks his tongue over Wallace's thumbnail.]

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