badfic_manor | 001 Beyond Birthday [Audio]

[Had Beyond Birthday cared to put in the effort, he could probably name the exact genus and species of the prehistoric flora that surrounded him. He did not care. The only thing that matters at the moment is that this place is not Room four-oh-four. His thoughts are scattered in chaotic disarray, an unpredictable, teeming mass of anger, annoyance, and desperation hidden behind a deadpan mask enhanced by perfectly applied powder. Wammy's had taught their projects well. For all of Beyond's anguish --all his plans derailed!-- not a single trace of it was broadcast through the Blackberry. Or rather, none of it would have been broadcast. Suspicious, and paranoid, Beyond Birthday would not reveal his face, for he knew very well the value of a person's face, to individuals unknown. Long fingers encircle the device, his voice, an almost soothing, rumbly sound in-between tenor and baritone. An oddly zen tone, considering his rather....unique circumstances.]

Good evening.

[A short pause, as B wets his lips.]

My name is Ryuzaki. I seem to be...

[A second pause, as he searches for the appropriate word. Lost? Confused? He frowns in the darkness. Subjective information would hardly be helpful to anyone.]

... sitting on top of a creature, a ceratopsid, long extinct. A triceratops to be exact. What is the meaning of this?

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Are you, going to need someone to come get you then?

[B ponders this. The cat girl had told him if he were to survive this night, he would wake up in a Manor by tomorrow. Presumably this Manor was dinosaur free. B didn't trust a single word she said. Help, however... hmm, did B need help?]

What are your qualifications?

I'm not on the boats- I'm looking for a-nevermind!

The point is, I'm probably close by and I'm the smartest person here. [Being 900+ year old Timelord and all.]

The smartest? [B repeats this incredulously. No, no, that title was reserved for one person, and that person is obviously, B himself. The arrogance of this person! Another furtive smile appears, then disappears. B doesn't mind giving out lessons in humility....]

Dogs that are all bark and no bite ought to be put down. The converse is equally worthy of capital punishment.

Well, I'm not all bark, I promise you.

-You wouldn't have happened to see a screwdriver shaped thing? Bit greed on the end.

[B continues to look distinctly unimpressed.]

I am situated on the back of a Triceratops. Your possessions mean absolutely nothing to me.

That's not what it really looks like, you know- not what it's supposed to look like.

[...now where did that dinosaur get off too with the Sonic?]

001 Beyond Birthday [Audio]

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