badfic_manor | 22nd bomb || Hayato Gokudera || [in person/video] [backdated to morning]

[After a REALLY shitty past couple of weeks, and his usual method of venting (beating people up) didn't really fly well during prison week, Hayato had taken a surrogate: his bedroom.]

[The feed came on with a crash as the blackberry is dropped to the floor. There's the sound of something crashing against the walls. For a brief moment Hayato ckmes on screen, bedside table in his hands mid-throw, and not even a moment after he disappears from off screen there's the sound of breaking wood as he throws it at the wall.

After a few more minutes of pounding and crashing noises, part of the teen can be seen again, only this time he is holding his work table, and with surprisingly good form he pegs that sucker right out his window. Unfortunately for him, it sets off that wonderful little bomb trap he had set on his window. Both Hayato and the blackberry are blown back against the wall, but the damage is minimal. He has replaced the charge to something weaker to prevent his room from getting blown into oblivion AGAIN.

Hayato simply sits there for a moment, breathing heavily and just looking at the damage. Oddly enough it felt good... and nothing was on fire. Window looked to have seen better days though. The teen lets out a content sigh and just flops onto his side, all is well and good until he spots the blackberry... and that it's on. He pushes himself up again and growls, grabbing the device and giving it a half-assed throw across the room.

NOW all was well and good....

other than... you know... his room being a wreck.]

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['There isn't any' isn't exactly reassuring. Oh god, what did he get himself into with this friendship? Where was the exit? No... not that question. It was exactly that exit he was so desperately trying to avoid after all. That exit that frightened him more than he wanted to allow it to]

No... no. I can't let you go... I ... I just... c-can't.

Because if you left that would hurt me too much.

[He really wants to stop talking already. Stop talking, stop talking. This was so ridiculous, these were things that should never be brought up. Never, never, he shouldn't say something like this. He was stronger than that, better than that, always had been]

...y-y-you're the first person I actually f-fully trust after all.

I... I don't understand... I'm not worth it... I'm really not worth-

[And there it goes, his stomach gurgles and he lurches forward. He pushes Ryuutaro away and stumbles to a tree, falling to his knees and holding onto the tree for support as his stomach releaved itself of it's contents.

He... couldn't even be bothered to care right now if Ryuutaro saw him. Everything was just such a mess right now... he didn't know what to do...]

[Ryuutaro looks away enough not too see too much of Hayato's moment of weakness, but not enough to give him the opportunity to run away. He leans against another tree, trying to calm himself down. This was way too messed up for him to understand it himself. When it seemed like Hayato had calmed down a bit, Ryuutaro starts to speak again]

I couldn't really explain it to you. It's just... how it is.
[There wasn't really any going back from that statement now anyway]

And it's me who decides if you're worth my attention.

[Hayato sits there a moment just looking at the ground, trying to spit the remaining bile from his mouth. Slowly he stumbles to his feet and looks himself over, luckily he hadn't gotten anything on him.

He takes a few shaky steps backwards until his back hits another tree, he simply slides down it and brings his knees up to his chest, folding his arms on his knees and resting his head on them.

He couldn't bring himself to do anything now... he was tired... tired and weak...]

[Ryuutaro honestly doesn't know what to do anymore. He has no idea how he feels and he couldn't predict to what the things he'd say would turn. How much would be revealed of him. How much damage he'd do with it.
So he just comes over and sits down next to his friend, not close enough to touch him anywhere, but also not leaving a lot of space between them.
This was so messed up and there wasn't even such a thing as an 'easy way out'.
Ryuutaro just hopes that next week they could pretend to forget about everything they said.

Being a bit scared of his own tongue the boy decides not to speak unless Hayato does so first]

[For a long time Hayato doesn't move, it almost looks like he may have fallen asleep. Until he lets out a little grunt, and he moves his arms around his stomach.]

[Ryuutaro opens his mouth and then quickly shushes himself. No 'Are you alright's allowed! He has to phrase this differently. So instead you get a worried little]

Can I help you?

[There can't be much wrong with that, can there?]

Edited 2011-08-18 12:45 (UTC)

[he shakes his head. When he speaks his voice is small and weak.]

I don't think there's you can do... It won't stop.

I see...

[Ryuutaro didn't remember his own voice sounding this unsure and silent, but Hayato's is way worse. And he still had no idea what to do. Every bit of conversation could turn fatal here.]

I wish I could.

[Well, at least they could be miserable together? As if that was helping any]

[Hayato nods, and actually lifts his head to look at Ryuutaro.]

I do too.

[and he really did. He wanted to finally be done with this shit. He was tired of being sick. Well there was nothing he could do about it. Maybe he should just go in his room and lock himself there for the rest of the week. He takes a deep breath and pushes himself up, a bit more stable now that he had rested a bit, and starts to make his way back to the manor. He needed to at least get some water, too.]

[This time Ryuutaro can't bring himself to stop the other. All he'd do was break things even more. The boy just looks as Hayato walks off and then buries his face in his arms.
He felt horrible. His thoughts were spinning and he felt like a coward and an idiot.
He hated what he'd said, he hated what he'd not said and just couldn't understand anything anymore.]

22nd bomb || Hayato Gokudera || [in person/video] [backdated to morning]

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[In Person] Lol, this somehow made me cry XD"