badfic_manor | 29th bomb || Hayato Gokudera || [in person] || Backdated to Thursday

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29th bomb || Hayato Gokudera || [in person] || Backdated to Thursday

[After letting a rather distinctive scream from the morgue of the manor, Hayato had hastily scrambled up to the main floor. Shakily, he wandered through the halls, completely disoriented and very jumpy. He had his hands defensively wrapped around his stomach which is slathered in dried blood, as are his pants, and right shoulder.

After stumbling about the halls for a while he simply leans against the wall and slides down it into a sitting position as he tried to wrap his head around what happened...]

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[No matter how tightly Hayato held him, this time it couldn't ever be too much or too close. Hayato was here, he was alive and as long as Ryuutaro could feel this, feel that he wasn't going to leave again, it was alright.
Ryuutaro felt himself shake as well and he just pressed himself into Hayato's embrace as an attempt to steady himself]

...you're back...

[He loved the taste of the word 'back' at this moment]

And... y-you're warm.

[The most beautiful feeling]

[Hayato tensed up a bit at the first statement. He was "back"... which meant he left... which brought to the forefront of his mind what the last thing he remembered was. The pain. The fear.

The broken promises.

His shaking suddenly became worse as he suddenly felt overwhelmed with shame]

I'm sorry.... I-I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...

[Ryuutaro violently shook his head. Even if he'd had those moments where he felt like screaming at Hayato for not being there, when he promised to be there, it had still been fate]

N-no... Stop this.. It's not your fault.

[It had been fate. And who had he been to think they could defy it? How stupid was that? Ryuutaro removed his hands from Hayato's chest and now wrapped his arms around Hayato tightly, anything to stop that shaking... even if his own body was far from being stable]

but i-it is... I wasn't strong enough...

[And he lets out a little noise as he chokes back a sob. He couldn't cry again. He was already weak enough... he couldn't break down again. He had to be stronger then this... but he felt so worthless... if he couldn't give his word... then what could he give? How could Ryuutaro trust him again after this?]

I'm so s-sorry...I broke my promise...

It's not your fault... it's not...

[Ryuutaro felt like he could do nothing more than repeat it again and again. Because what could he do? He wanted to make Hayato promise to never leave him again, but how wrong would that feel? He couldn't possibly say something like that]

F-fate is just... too cruel... it's not your fault...

B-but I promised... I promised I would change it... I-I'm so sorry...

[Because he wasn't strong enough. He was already useless to the Tenth as his right hand man... now he was too weak to even keep himself alive. He was pathetic. But even feeling so, he couldn't even think of pulling himself away from Ryuutaro. He needed him. He needed that that comforting. He was terrified that he would wither away again... that he wouldn't be able to remain alive... that this wasn't permanent...]

I broke my promise to the Tenth... I broke the promises I made to you... I-I failed you both... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...

[Ryuutaro didn't want to hear anything like this. Hayato was alive that was all that mattered to him. Ryuutaro shook his head again]

No... I... I was foolish to make you promise anything like that... It was... I was...

[There was no way fate could be changed after all. Whatever Ginga had done, it was nothing anybody could just do... maybe it had something to do with the fact that back then it had been about an entire world, no only a few persons.
There was no way people like him or Hayato or anybody here could change fate. And for the first time Ryuutaro was scared of it.]

I'm sorry.... I made you cry...

[Hayato's embrace tightened a bit for a moment.]

I... I never wanted to hurt you like that.... I'm sorry, I'm sorry....

I know... I know you didn't...

[And he was very ready to forgive Hayato for all the pain he'd been through in those last days. It wasn't his fault. Ryuutaro needed to convince Hayato of this as much as he had to believe in it himself.
He had to put the blame on somebody else... something else]

I... I'm just so glad you're here now...

Edited 2011-10-22 19:18 (UTC)

[He's here now... he is... but death... it had hurt so much, he was scared. But Ryuutaro had been there, holding him like this. Hayato nuzzles his face into the fabric of Ryuutaro's clothes]

Don't let me go... please don't let me go...

[In response Ryuutaro pressed himself against Hayato some more.]

I'm not letting go off you... I'm not...

[In his mind he felt himself going back to Hayato's death again, to this feeling of desperately not wanting to let go. This time.. this time he wouldn't. This time he'd keep Hayato here with him, this time... If fate only let him, if it allowed him this, he wouldn't ever let go off him again.]

[Hayato moved a hand shakily from Ryuutaro's back to his head, pressing him close, and turning his head slightly so that his face is touching Ryuutaro's. He was still afraid. He didn't want to go die... but here he was back from death. It was so difficult to come to terms with...]

It hurt Ryuutaro.... it hurt so bad...

[For a moment Ryuutaro couldn't say anything anymore... Hayato had died, no matter how much pain he'd been through, he couldn't ever hope to understand what Hayato had felt. When he spoke again it was just a whisper as well]

It's over now... you're back... you're back with me...

[And then the shaking returns, and there's a shaky inhale... and he begins to sob. He felt safe enough in Ryuutaro's arms to just cry. It had hurt. He was scared. He broke his promises, and he felt so worthless.

But at least he was safe here. He was so relieved to be safe in this spot.]

I'm scared...

[Oh god, now he was crying. Seeing Hayato cry didn't get any better the more often it happened. For a moment Ryuutaro felt paralyzed, then he slowly started petting over Hayato's head and back. That was what people did to calm crying persons, right?]

... you're back here... I'm not letting you go...

[He was repeating himself endlessly, but it was just the only message he needed to get accross]

Edited 2011-10-22 20:31 (UTC)

[And he cried for a few moments, just basking in the way Ryuutaro held and touched him. It felt so nice to be touched by the boy he... the boy he...]

Thank you.... thank you.... I-I'm not letting you go either...

[And that's when it hit him. He didn't want to let this boy go. He loved him. He loved this safety. He loved this warmth. He loved the calm voice speaking to him, comforting him. It was terrifying. He was in love and didn't know how to react. He had never FELT love before. It made his heart skip, and his chest feel strangely light- almost fighting the sinking pain of fear in his stomach]

Edited 2011-10-22 20:42 (UTC)

[Ryuutaro hadn't even realized that those words might have been something he really needed to hear, too. His body relaxed a bit and smiled a little]

...I'm glad...

[He really was. Hayato was back with him, he could feel him and Ryuutaro had never thought that this would one day be what he needed the most]

[And in the little moment of reprieve from his pain and and fear... the teen turned his head a bit more, and placed a quick chaste kiss on Ryuutaro's cheek. Thanking him for being there for him, for holding him- and most importantly:

letting him love him.]

[Ryuutaro's eyes widened in surprise as he suddenly realized how close they were, too. And that he probably should mind it... but just didn't. And even if his heart just skipped a beat at that little surprise kiss, he couldn't bring himself to mind that either. It was just so nice to have Hayato her, showing affection to him...
Ryuutaro smiled a bit more, much more unsure than he usually would, but still smiling.

They could be together again.]

[The moment of reprieve didn't last long, as something clattered down the hallways. Noise wasn't something new to the manor at all, considering all the people who lived there- but now it made Hayato jump. The shaking returned and he went pale. He lifted his head up and frantically looked over his shoulder.

What if the monsters were still here? The statues... oh god... what if he didn't kill that last one? What if it came after him again?!

The teen tenses up, once again paralyzed in his own fear]

[Ryuutaro couldn't help but jump a bit as well, before he forcefully calms himself down. Those statues had just turned to unmoving objects after all and... they'd hopefully stay that way, the Author wouldn't change her mind that quickly..]

It's fine... those things don't move anymore.

[Hopefullyhopefullyhopefully]

Th-they're s-still here?

[He broke out in a cold sweat, and the shaking didn't cease. He could feel himself beginning to fall into another panic. He was scared. Just so very scared. His mind suddenly filled with 'what-ifs', and the hallway... too nostalgic... he died in the hallway... he didn't like it... it was so open. They could be anywhere. They might not even really be gone... they could be faking it or something. Oh god he didn't want to die again! Notagainnotagainnotagain!]

They are... but they don't do anything anymore!

[Ryuutaro tried his best to sound confident here. They didn't move anymore... they didn't. It didn't help the fact that he himself was still a little too scared to give good support to Hayato.]

...let's get away from the open, alright?

[Hayato nodded slowly and stumbled to his feet. He was wobbly and his legs were stiff, and of course he just leaned on Ryuutaro. He didn't know where he was going, and he was still clearly very dazed... but he had his pillar to lean on.

He kept his arm around Ryuutaro's shoulder and his other over the scabbed over remains of his fatal injury, as he clumsily lumbered alongside his boyfriend. Everything just felt so heavy... and he was tired. His whole body ached. Everything just seemed harder in general. His breathing was hard to keep steady, his muscles were sore, his head was spinning... he couldn't wait until Ryuutaro took him where ever... anywhere was better than the hallway...]

[Ryuutaro silently brought them to his room, which he'd always chose over Hayato's in situations like this, because he still didn't trust Hayato's room enough to be sure nothing would just randomly explode.

When they reached the safety of his room, he immediately let Hayato sit down on the bed, sitting down next to him.
Being out of the hallway was probably a step in the right direction, especially as Hayato was still here, still alive and didn't just vanish like Ryuutaro halfway feared]

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teen dera needs to make this face so I can stop using TYL!Dera's face >_>

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