Mary Winchester | 24 | [Video]

[was_a_hunter]

[Mary's clearing her throat for a moment, not sure if she really wants to ask this with the variety of people that they've acquired. It has to be done though, especially if this year is going to be anything like last year.]

I was just wondering if anyone would mind helping me in the gym...and by that, I mean getting me back in the shape I was in during my younger years.

[You know, before the kids and retirement got to her. She'd like to actually survive the next dangerous plot.]

Comments

[was_a_hunter]

[Not stopping, she doesn't even turn back to look at him. His demon may have been cruel...but it had been honest.]

You'd never been more honest with me than you had then. You told me about how you were raised...what your father did to you...how I'd damned you.

[Her breath hitched but she still refused to stop. After he'd told her about the demon, she knew that everything that he'd told her had been true. It would have been better for her children if she'd never made that deal...if she'd died right then and never let it touch her babies.]

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

[It doesn't matter that she's not stopping. He is, hitting her e-stop, giving her a look that's close to tortured. He really, really can't believe he said that. He never would have.]

It wasn't me. I don't think that. Never have. None of it was your fault. I don't know what the hell put that into your head, but I never would have said that.

[was_a_hunter]

[When the belt stopped, she tentatively put her arms around his neck. This wasn't how she planned this conversation going...to be honest, she'd planned it with whiskey and chairs.]

It was you...there was a plot when I'd arrived. She turned you into a demon. It's how I learned about your hunting and you selling your soul after Sammy-...

I'm so sorry...please, don't hate me.

[She couldn't stand that. It almost killed her when they'd talked after her arrival.]

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

...oh god... [..son of a bitch.

he holds her close... well, as close as the bar inbetween will let him.] I don't hate you. I don't blame you.

I-I'm sorry.

[was_a_hunter]

[Turning her head to bury her face in his neck, she wasn't caring too much about the bar pressing into her stomach. All that seemed to matter for the moment, was that he wasn't mad at her.]

I'm the one that should be sorry, Dean. I never meant to hurt your brother; I swear to you, if I knew what would have happened...

[Well. If she knew, she'd have to hope that she wouldn't make the same mistakes.]

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

[He shook his head.] It doesn't matter. If you hadn't... they would have found some way. It's not your fault; it's theirs. All of them. [Heaven and Hell. God's, too.]

[was_a_hunter]

Don't make excuses for me.

[She didn't completely believe that. She should have known better, that there were strings she wasn't anticipating.]

...I knew it was wrong, but I still did it. That's why I can never condemn you or your father for doing the same.

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

[It's not like that life that he dealt away was his anyway. He knew that.]

I'm not making excuses. It's true.

[was_a_hunter]

I could grow to accept the hunting, Dean. In some ways, I already have because it's protected you so much here.

But learning what you went through in Hell...It's a miracle that you didn't lose yourself completely. If Castiel hadn't been watching over you, you would have lost your humanity as well.

[has_a_phd_in_teddybear]

[the statement... well, you may have well have just yelled christo at a demon. It would have been just as effective. He turns away, Not really wanting to put her right on the subject. Cas gave him.... most of him back. He can still feel the hole, ragged and empty, in his soul. He's just better at living with it. But that was all Cas did. give him his humanity back. He lost it, he lost his way, because the angels were ten damned years too late. And even now, sometimes, that path is too tempting and calling out to him - like when ben and lisa were taken and he used a lot (definitely not all of, he found out where they were all too quickly) of what he'd learnt down there... and he'd liked it.

Not that he'll ever explain any of that. Not to her.] ...We should get back to training.