badfic_manor | Taunt 005 - M - [Accidental Video] Cats In the Cradle...

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Taunt 005 - M - [Accidental Video] Cats In the Cradle...

Mello did indeed get a baby. A pudgy little pink thing that gurgled at him and got spit on his nice leather. And that is not okay. Mello didn't like kids when he WAS one ~~fuck you to any of you who say he still IS one~~ and he doesn't like them now. Useless little buggers taking up space and crying for attention when they could take that time they are wasting to LEARN how to just say what it is they want rather than being the bane of some poor soul's existence.

Yes. Mello doesn't like babies.

And so if he's going to have to deal with one, he's going to make the thing straighten up and fly right...or hit the road.

[And that is how this video has come to be a baby, probably about 3 yrs of age, perched precariously on a tree branch as Mello waits below for the thing to figure out how to get itself out of danger. Learn early, learn fast. And Mello has no qualms with this because clearly he has the baby's best interests in mind. And if the baby actually manages to pass this test, hell maybe it can be his successor.

Though, that hope disappears all too suddenly when the baby inadvertently FALLS. And tumbling through the sky, disappears midair.

And in turn, the blackberry suddenly falls to the ground where instead of the lean leather clad boy, there is now a bundle of black clothes and a tiny blonde-bobbed head sticking out of the pile. An unhappy looking infant now clad in only a black vest that goes down over his knees and is falling a bit off his tiny shoulders.

Yes. Mello has failed the parenting test]

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[[Caring for children can be tricky. Ask L.

He's the reason a teenage boy ended his life at the end of a rope and the other one started a life of crime in order to oppose him. The reason that his successors aren't working together and probably a slough of other things to do with tortured lives of children. Mainly from the orphanage if he had to guess.

Either way.
L's watching the video with the utmost of interest in what's going on, he's guessing, quite honestly, that Mello is either going to turn around and leave it, or wait. The fact that he's waiting probably leads L to believe he's trying to experiment with it. L is hefting his wn little one against his shoulder while she sleeps nestled in his neck- when he doesn't have to be a detective, it's a nice distraction. So far so good. But it's only been hours and he's only holding it because he's not sure where else is appropriate to set it, yet. He won't be upstaged by giving it up either.

Needless to say, when he sees Mello's form fall into a that of a child's his eyes widen. ....He remembers Mello as a child and no good can come of this if he's left to his own devices.

Sigh.]]

Mello? Can you hear me, Mello?

[ Mello...rather, Mihael now, hears the voice and wiggle out from under the leather pants and heavy boots, rosary dragging on the ground past his feet as he totters about a bit in search of the person talking.]

Who der? [He demands, continuing to stomp about until he steps on and trips over the blackberry]

[[L winces at Mello's tripping and falling and he's already up on his feet trying to find out where exactly that boy was off putting babies in trees. At least now he knows the consequences of bad parenting and. .. and he better pull his weight with his little one here.]]

Are you alright, Mello? Did you hurt yourself?

[[There's a chance that his mind is also reverted, which is troublesome. He sighs and will start close to the grounds while he hefts a baby in one arm and the communicator in the other one.]]

[Mello is not sniffling. Really. Even holding his little scraped knee and cheeks damp he is not sniffling. He's a big boy. And that didn't hurt. Really. Honest.

And thus, STILL NOT SNIFFLING, he finally grabs for the talking black thing he had stepped on.]

I-I [notsniffle] not hurt. [notsniffleagain] y-you saying my name wrong.

[[....Which in Mello-ese, means that he's hurt himself and he's not going to tell anyone. L bounces the little noise-making sleeper on his shoulder a bit, people bounce babies right? Ah wait you're not supposed to shake babies. Crap this is going to be hard.]]

Saying your na- ...

[[L shuffles the communicator and the baby a bit, trying not to wake it up and hits this over to private and unhackable.]]
[Private]

Do you mean that I should be calling you Mihael?

[Mello's notsniffling is dying down a bit as the stinging starts to ebb away a bit.]

H-how you know my name?

[He's small, but still a quicklearner, and somewhere in the back of his tiny mind vaguely remembers something called "stranger danger". Though who exactly taught it to him he's not sure.]

[[L has to approach this carefully, listening to the waking noises of the cooing baby on his shoulder. Great. Really.]]

Mm, I am a good friend of Roger and Mister Whammy, in fact I lived at Whammy's House myself.
Mel-- Mihael, let us play a quick game. It is the shouting game.

[[L gently hoists the baby closer to his neck, ew'ing in his mind as it noms a little on his neck. He slides it a little to the side so it can't, and then concentrates on Mello.]]

I need you to take a very deep breath and yell as loud as you can. Do you want to play?

[Oh...so he's a friend of Roger. That means he must be oolllllllllllddddd. Ancient. Mihael has begun suspecting that Mr. Roger is ancient...so this guy must be ancient too.

And if you can't tell he's very proud that he knows such a big word as 'ancient' - AND he knows what it means. SO THERE.

When a game is suggested, first thought, A CHALLENGE. And he's gunna win- right way.]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[[L watches as Mello takes him up on his challenge. ...And that definitely wakes the little girl on his shoulder. She's wide-eyed and looking around- but at least L has an idea of where Mello is.

He knows how Mello is.]]

Oh my, Mihael.
You've got the loudest shout I've heard in a long while.

[[He's really a bad teacher, shouldn't be teaching shouting games. He hoists the baby, moving toward the sound of where he heard Mello shriek his little lungs out. Then peeking around a corner, L raises an eyebrow at the dishevelled small version of his successor. He shuts off the communicator and puts it in his pocket, hunched slightly over as he moves nearer to Mello.]]

Mihael!
[[He says to get his attention, shuffling up to stare downward. ...This better be temporary.]]

I have the lowdest shout EVER [Mihael corrects, pushing himself up when he hears his name, and turns with awkwardly wide and intent eyes to stare at this stranger.

Little hands gripping the hem of his vest-now-turned-dress and tiny brows furrowed, he is sizing you up, L.]

.......do you have candy? [he finally asks. But the question is oddly pointed. Not exactly like he's asking for candy to be given, but instead interrogating L.]

[[L stares back, not blinking, simply rubbing the back of the little one that he's holding. The unnamed little girl that he has to treat like precious porcelain. There's remnants of the Mello that L has come to know, that sizing up look.

He tilts his head like a curious puppy, lifting his hand from his pocket with a small sugary sphere wrapped in plastic.]]

I do. I enjoy candy. Do you enjoy candy, Mihael?

[Mello takes an immediate step back, now looking at L accusingly]

Mr. Roger says that bad people try and give kids candy. [Geez, L, he's not stupid. DUH]

[[L looks absolutely scandalized that Mello just called him a paedophile. He frowns, looking at the candy, then at Mello again, hoisting the little baby who's staring back at the young boy at his feet. He's keeping her quiet relatively save for some adorable baby noises at random.]]

Then I'll just eat it myself.
I'm by far not a bad 'people', I just know the meaning of sharing. Won't you come with me? We'll wait for Roger and see him together when he gets here?

No! [Mello rushes forward to snatch the candy for himself, before shoving it in his mouth, wrapper and all. He doesn't swallow but he's pretty sure the man won't try and take it back if its been in his mouth. Same theory as the "i licked it" strategy often put to use by the other children at the orphanage]

[[L barely has time to react before Mello's got the wrapper and all in his mouth, his eyes wide at the revelation that maybe the kid just swall- oh good.

Good tactic too, L's not stupid enough to go into Mello's mouth for it either.]]

Mihael, you have to first un-wrap the plastic.

[[He takes a few steps forward, little no-name-currently swivelling her head and her almond, black eyes (just like Daddy) stare down at Mello.]]

Come along Mihael, take it out of your mouth and unwrap it. It's unhealthy if you swallow plastic. I won't take it away, I have enough that we can share.

[Reluctantly mello spits out the candy and keeps a wary eye on L as he proceeds to unwrap it, then pop it in his mouth]

Wher are we goingfh [He manges around a cheek full of candy]

[[L sighs, gross, children are so unclean. He'll have to wash Mello's hands some how when they get back to the room, he's got water and a basin if he thinks correctly.]]

Back to my place, Mihael, I need to set the infant down. I can't carry her all day. [[And won't. He's doing this so this doesn't happen to him. Said little girl playing her little stubby fingers in his hair, barely able to hold herself up from her obviously small age.]]

Edited 2011-06-28 02:30 (UTC)

[Mello follows him, nomming sloppily on his candy as he makes a game of only stepping on L's footprints - and obliterating them with a firm stomp.

Destroying things is fun]

Is your wife there? [He asks loudly]

[[L takes a small victory in Mello at least following him ...though that will be tough to keep him from going with others if something comes up. He'll have to keep a close, watchful eye on the young man. Mello's little stompy game causes the pace to slow down, but L doesn't mind as long as nothing comes out at them while he's trying to usher them back to the place. He's got to check on Near too when they get back.

The question catches him off guard.]]

My wife? No, I have no wife. Try to keep up, it's not safe around here.

((OOC: ...er derp. Pretend I was smart enough to type that L took his clothes too rofl. Not just gonna let 'em lay there.))

[Mello cocks his little head] No wife? Then how you have that baby? Did you kidnap that one too?

[Not that Mello thinks he has been kidnapped. Rather he's decided that for the good of mankind ~~and in order to impress the world~~, he'll make it HIS mission to monitor this potential baby-napper.]

[[L pauses, stopping to look back at Mello when not only has he now been a paedophile, but a kidnapper too, of a baby that looks like him no less! Augh! Childreennnuh.]]

No, she's not kidnapped. I'm not a kidnapper nor a bad man, my wife [[Your wife what, L? You don't have a wife.]] is visiting her parents. It's up to me to wait with our little one, responsibility, not kidnapping.

[[He sighs and continues to walk, opening the front door for Mello and shush'ing the whimper at his shoulder.]]
In you go, we're almost there.

[[At least, Mello hasn't asked him to carry him.]]