badfic_manor | Mary Winchester | 29

I was always pretty damn decent at poker. 'm sure there's gotta be some humble salary for the hard twerkin' man! Jeeez...

[He lets out a squawk as his vision is draped by soap-smelly towel, then pulls it off and dangles it before the kitty. At the harlot part he cracks a wide grin and a laugh] Harlot? I'm gonna wait a minute an see if flappter comes along with that one, pfffft!

[Sobering, he goes on, that grin still atwitchin'.] You're right, your mechanic smut's a lucky bastard to have ya. May your rolls in the hay be plentiful an mostly secret. I do like the type that can kick my ass. But I also like the type that won't make us both fuckin' damsels in distress. [Pointed look, mama bear]

Yeah? Maybe we'll have to play sometime. I'll have you know my daddy taught me a mean game in hopes of carrying on his legacy.

[Probably not best to say her dad was a cardshark, but it didn't hurt to let him know what he'd be getting into if he played with her.

At the last part, she cracked a grin.]

Well, if he'd ever get here, I'm sure there would be many rolls in the hay. Considering how long I've been here, I don't anticipate a trip home anytime soon.

Edited 2013-04-21 04:26 (UTC)

[Badou's eyebrows meet his hairline. What the fuck can't Mary do is the real question. As long as she never knows he lost at strip poker in about ten minutes. Lost in all the ways that count.] The legacy of the old fart who robbed Vegas blind without even needin' a dead pigeon zoomin' outta his open fly for a distraction?

[If he wasn't an asshole he'd probably blush or be a little bashful. Badou just snickers and leers. At least she'd be happier, if not forced to put a tie on every doorknob they came across...] An on that occasion we'll getcha more cowbell an knock before enterin' every goddamn room, regardless if it has a door or not. Fuckin' scandalous, mama bear!

More the legacy of the man who had to stop betting on games cause no one would play with him anymore. [She smirked a little at the memory.] They'd bet with me though. I was his ringer.

Hey, just because we have a healthy sex life. [If not more than a few fights that they had.]

I can appreciate a man who takes another dude's money, that ain't mine of course, an makes grown ass men cry. You both're real ball an wallet breakers, babe.

[He chuckles and holds up his hands in surrender] Hey, just cause we don't wanna be accused of bein' kinky voyeurs~ Maybe if we get royalty checks for appearin' in your next installment of The Mechanic an the Housewife? Naw, that kinda spotlight ain't all that.

He wanted to make sure I was multi-talented. Before he was killed, he made sure I'd be able to provide for myself in nothing else.

[Mary smiled to herself in amusement.] You really think you could handle appearing in an episode of the mechanic and the housewife? I don't really think you can, not from what I've seen so far.

It's great he taught you to get dudes where it counts- by the short and curlies and by the wallet. Clever guy. Ah, mentors.

Are you doubtin' my flexibility and hot gingery prowess, Mama bear? [He cocks his head to the side and makes a show of raising an eyebrow. Blasphemy!] Your attention is merely directed away from my hard boiledness, you gotta train it right. I dunno if royalty checks are worth gettin' my ass kicked, though. The adoption'll go stale with ratings like that.

Well, unless I wanted to take over his dry cleaning business... He was just worried I wouldn't have a way to support myself if something happened.

And if I am? [She nudged him lightly with her elbow.] It's not like I know how much you can really handle.

Jerkin' lipstick stains outta business men's suits before their wives eagle eyes see em by daylight and monster fight club by moonlight? Damn. Welp, I guess the whole worry thing is a dad's duty, or so I've seen in shitty movies.

Shame on you. Aren't moms supposed to be infused to the mom jeans with faith? Jeeeez. [Tutting, asshole grin on the loose, he nudges her right back] The real question is you got enough bank to pay the toll for Hard Boiled Ginger Bridge and find out? Can you handle the...handle? [No he has no idea what that means either]

I helped out on the weekends...it really wasn't as fun as you'd think. We had our fair share of lipstick stains, but it was just...monotonous.

[A lot of work and she worked for free...she could have thought of better things to do with her weekends.

...She has to laugh, not entirely sure of what their conversation had even come to.] I'm not sure what that means, but even mom jeans get a little tight sometimes.

Mmm, maybe you guys shoulda traded in the lipstick and crusty pizza sauce stains [He's quick to air quote here] for the info broker business. That shit never gets stale. Stale bodies and sex toys that belong to politician dicks, maybe, but every day's like a strain of bullshit. [Sort of.]

Heeey, on a babe like you, not tight. Just lived in, twerked out and all that. Or somethin'. I was goin' somewhere with this.

Who says we didn't have our hands in that too? You really think 'monster hunters' only focus on a few things~? [They really did a little of everything, especially when their cover business wasn't doing as much as it should and money got tight.]

A babe? Well, now I feel special. I think the only time I was really called attractive here, it was more crude than anything.

Yeah? I fuckin' knew your elbows weren't that squeaky damn clean. Good thing we didn't have to go toe to toe in the business. I'd hate to have to smoke your ass in the info trade~ [It made sense. Jack of all trades and Then Some Shit sort of thing. They had to, really.]

[He snickers] Special snowflake, mama bear. What kinda cybernetic scrotum pole would be a rude ass to Your Babeness? I'll blackmail the five hour energy shit right outta that shit.

In that case, I wish you'd been here. I was about ready for the earth to eat me when I had to ask my eldest what a MILF was. [She was sure Dean had been in a situation when she asked. The horror on his face had been proof enough of that.] When I heard him unzipping his pants, that had been the line for me.

I was just glad he didn't try to do more than talk to me over the devices. I had a broken wrist and was more than a little light headed from pain pills.

Ah, so they didn't have MILFs in the dry cleanin' business world. Now we've got kougars on every goddamn street. S'gotta be eye openin'. [Badou holds a solemn expression for about five seconds before dissolving into knee slapping laughter] PFFFFFFFFT! [He wipes a tear from his eye] Gotta let the lil birds outta the nest an spread their legs some time, I guess. Your family bondin' times warm my cockles, mama bear.

[Gripes] Tch, no fuckin' kiddin'. It's a pain to give or get the talk an kick someone's empty head in 'round their ears when you're high off pain killers.

Not in my time. A lot of the slang that I hear here, it's confusing. [It made her sound a little ignorant at times, but she honestly had no idea of what some of it meant until she asked Dean.]

It is. I was about ready to go stay in Deans room until I was more myself if that was what I had to deal with.

Mmm, I imagine your fuckin petticoats are all aquiver with confusion an outrage at some of the shit you'll hear. It's eye openin'. [Seriously, it was. And Badou certainly didn't make her lessons and translations any better, huh]

Your guard puppy woulda been more than happy to have ya. Well, I guess it's a good thing you didn't haveta make that dick muncher squeal like a pig, then.

When I'm from, we had people flirting and being crude...but what I've experienced here is on a whole new level. It's confusing at times, but I try to not let it phase me.

I know he would have, but he was having problems of his own at the time. I didn't want to impose on him any. I felt it best to just deal with it as best I could and hope he didn't come looking for more than comments.

I feel ya, ever since the age of the internet an the dial up cockteases, kids have gotten real raunchy these days. Little fuckers. Welp, if you just nod and smile you should get by.

[Badou sighs a little.] Impose my ass, that's what kids are for, y'know! 'Least it woulda distracted him for a bit. Crackin' skulls is therapeutic. [He waves his hand dismissively] Nothin' doin' bout it now, though.

Internet? [And there's another word she doesn't know.] Again, this may sound strange... What's the internet and what does it have to do with children? I'm a little confused.

I know he would have taken me in, no questions...but I also didn't want all the questions of how I broke my wrist.

[Her inquiry makes him chuckle a little. No, not because of her lack of information, but because he never thought he'd see the day.] They were startin' to do shit with those clunky computers when you're from, right? Well the internet, the world wide fuckin' web, is a thing that connects all the computers of the world together an you can do all sorts of stuff. Research, sell shit on craigslist, talk with people, do work, look at weird ass porn- the possibilities are endless an usually covered in desperation an sweat.

PSH! Here's the thing, next time just tell him what I tell nosy assholes who ask about my eye: I got in a cock fight. Simple as that.

That's...wow, really? All computers are connected? It's so hard to believe, but after all I've seen, I don't really doubt it. [She didn't know much about computers either, but it had to be neat to have a computer that you could connect with others over.] If we ever get the chance, you'll have to show me.

I couldn't tell him that, not when he only means the best. I didn't want him to go and beat up a kid over me though. Not again.

Mhm- well as long as you got the cash to throw at the proverbial g-strings of cable companies. They make a hefty buck. [He grins, amused at the possibilities. Since he likes her and all it won't all end with someone (him) in tears after finding questionable sites.] Sure, if you think you're ready for Professor Nails' hard knock lessons~

Tch, you damndably honest to a fault types sure make shit more difficult than it's gotta be. I'll give ya that. Coulda put em both in time out an be done with it.

Maybe I can even open a bakery to get the money. I like baking and it's not like I have any other marketable skill sets. ...Maybe even hire me a red headed delivery boy to help me out.

I grew up lying to people, Badou. Classmates, teachers, people...everyone. I'd rather not have to lie to my family.

Can't beat delicious sweet, sweet service with a smile an minus the pit stains of desperation. Now, now, marketin our good looks is just as important for business, y'know. [The grin twists into a smirk as he rubs his chin, contemplating this business venture] Delivery boy, huh? There a non negotiable uniform that'll make my ass half the advertisin' strategy or...

It's more of a white lie without the sandbox fights, but. [He sighs, nods. Lying to family was shit, that much was true, even when you were trying to protect em with said lies.] Alright, I respect your decision an all that shit. Still think puttin' em both over your knee woulda done somethin' but eh.

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Sorry for the slow

No worries! I hope things are going well!

Just school killing me. I have my big test in May so...

GOOD LUCK! YOU GOT THIS IN THE BAG..IN THE BALL BAG!

I sincerely hope so...

You got this, girl!

I certainly hope so

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