badfic_manor | 1st Gospel - Misplaced priest is misplaced. [Video]

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1st Gospel - Misplaced priest is misplaced. [Video]

[Blade isn't happy. No he's not. He was kind of in the middle of something before everything went all crazy. And now he's in some kind of palace where the guards and serving girls all talk gibberish.]

I don't give a damn where I am. Just tell me how to get back to the Black Spot.

[He's holding the Blackberry in his free hand while he's lifting up one of the palace guards by the scruff of his clothes.]

Now you have two seconds to give me the answer I want or you're not going to have the chance to see what I will do to the next guy I come across.

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[Well now we're getting somewhere. Just going to flat out drop the guard who quickly scampers away the moment he lands on the floor.]

No soul but they know fear alright.

[Turns back to the phone.]

So you said you have answers?

[He's not going to like them is he?]

[Mikami nods seriously]

I do. Though I must warn you. They will neither seem pleasant nor very believable at first. If you want to pass me off as crazy then I would understand. However, you will find the truth of my words soon enough.

[It was his usual mantra before he started explaining. Mikami clung to the bit of sanity he had kept here and he hated being looked at like he lacked it.]

Oh I can believe quite a bit.

[He comes from a world where girls can travel at mach 9 and can make craters by dropping on their rears on his face.]

[Jury is still out when it comes to thinking of you as crazy or not.]

Well then.

It's true, it doesn't matter where you are, because returning to where you came from appears to be impossible as it is now. This place is called the Manor and it essentially hovers between different dimensions. Most people you meet here are from worlds different then your own. We are taken here by a person called the Author, who controls the entire realm and will not let us leave.

Right now we are on one of our 'field trips'. As the Author can alter this reality according to her wishes, she sometimes takes us away from the actual Manor to any place of her liking.

[Okay that's quite the story even by his standards. Still he can tell this guy is not making it up.]

You said she. So then someone's met her before?

[If so he just has to get an audience then whooop her ass.]

No, sadly nobody has.

The knowledge of her being female has been existent at my arrival over a year ago already [Back then he'd asked the exact same question] and has been confirmed by the plotbunny, who is the only one in contact with her.
Aside from that, you can guess by some of her action and thoughts patterns. We only have little more information, just what he can get based on how she treats us.

So she's not that stupid. Great.

[Hold on brain just processed that ridiculous piece of information you just dropped.]

Plotbunny? You mean bunny girl or something?

[Yep he's already imagining it. Can't blame a guy for hoping.]

[...]

[Mikami could not even imagine where that association came from. His line-face gets even more line-face-y]

No, a literal bunny. He is male and appears to be a chain smoker.

[Well that kills his buzz right away.]

So that guy is the closest thing to whoever brought us here. After all he's not from another world like the rest of us.

[Frowns a bit.]

Sounds like a lousy remake of Alice in Wonderland.

It's not the only reference to pop-culture you will find here. I don't know much about the referenced media myself, but so far we've sunk with Titanic and lived through the setting of the movie 'Jurassic Park' twice, to just name some examples.

[Teru had hit the point where saying these things did not unsettle him anymore. For a long time he had inwardly cringed at any illogical thing, but time had made him numb to most of that.]

[Titanic....oh god not that. He's going to be glad he missed that.]

So in other words I can expect even the terminator to walk in someday out of the blue as long as I am in this place.

Yes. That seems entirely possible.

If it weren't for the fact that I was in the middle of something back home, I'd almost consider this quite the vacation.

It's nothing like that. There might be calm weeks, but in general the Author has proven to be extremely cruel.
She does not hesitate to physically and mentally damage or alter us.

[Mikami could find nothing positive about the situation at all. Under the wrath of such a cruel person... It was the farthest from vacation to him (not that he would appreciate any vacation either way)]

[Hah well that puts one fear to rest. The last thing he'd want is to get dull during his confinement.]

Is that so? What's the worst she's done?

[So he has something to know what to expect.]

... the worst?

[For a moment Mikami just stares blankly, flashbacks of previous plots running through his head.]

I'm afraid I could not put a ranking to the individual cruelties.

Okay let me put it another way then. Which one pissed off most people?

A lot of us get annoyed at body-shifts, like switching bodies, changing gender or race.
Most people are terrified of the bloody weeks like the one we spent in a zombie city or the one in which a serial killer haunted the Manor.

I also know that some are disturbed when their memories get changed and their pasts get altered. [Which was mostly him...]

[Fighting zombies huh? Sounds fun to him]

Sounds like she's almost Missing Link level if not higher...

[Yea he's going to get serious for a moment.]

She seems to have absolutely no moral compass when it comes to what she lets happen at the house.
It seems we are just dolls to her.

An invisible puppet master. That rubs me the wrong way just a bit.

[He doesn't like being manipulated and not being given the option to hit the bastard back.]

That's how we all feel.

[Maybe for different reasons, individual ones, but the feeling stayed the same]

We're trying to deal with it to the best of our abilities.

Well that's a start.

[Nothing wrong with looking out for your interests first and foremost.]

And this palace I'm in right now. It's another of her schooltrips? So then what does this place look like normally?

It's a big Manor. Each resident has an own room designed to fit them, only some of us have chosen to move in with each other.
There is a big kitchen, bathrooms, a pool and a library, as well as a garden, a playground and a small court.
[Not that the court was functioning properly, but a long time ago the Manor residents had gotten the chance to request additions to the Manor. And there had been no way for Mikami to not jump at this chance. It was his little castle of normalcy]
It's surrounded by a forest, a beach and a kind of desert, but neither of those ways allows us to leave.

If it wasn't for the plots it would be a pleasant place to live at, I suppose.

Hmmm so in other words a nice cozy place to relax till the next stunt she makes us take part in.

[Well he does have interest in seeing his room now.]

How long do these "schooltrips" last?

1st Gospel - Misplaced priest is misplaced. [Video]

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