badfic_manor | Mary Winchester | 29

Aw, but wooden spoons are the best part. [She's already heading towards the kitchen, completely relaxed for the moment.] If you insist though, I'll go easy on you.

[Jesus hernando CHRIST you're killing him, Mary. He dissolves into laughter] I see someone's thought of a juicy side quest for the Mechanic an the Housewife, eh? That's hella kinky. I dunno if I can ever look atchu the same way again.

[As if he needs to be told twice. A fire is lit under his ass and he's blowing out the door as he cackles] Thank ya kindly, madam.

Perhaps I should take up writing? Add to the romance section in the library~.

[Okay, no. Not happening. Ever. If she did, it would live in her drawer and away from sight.

When he finally arrives in the kitchen, there will be a white and blond kitten drinking from a saucer on the counter and Mary leaning close to it, her eyes n the door.]

[Badou's mouth scrunches in a half grimace. Selfie fanfiction tho...that's MIGHTY interesting] As long as words like 'living dragon lair' ain't included. Pork sword would be hella acceptable.

[A few minutes later he busts into the kitchen like he owns the place (at least he owns the carton of milk with his chew marks- it was HARD TO OPEN OKAY) and immediately grins a sleezy grin]

So. You lookin' for a publisher for your great kinkmance? I've heard fanfuckintastic things bout this asshole named B.C. Nails. Real classy fucker.

Now, I don't know, but I certainly wouldn't use words quite like that. [Give the woman credit, even her worst words wouldn't be that horrible.]

[Smiling over to her visitor, she waves a spoon at him.]

Hey, hun. I think I'd go with someone else for my editor though, no offense. But, I will feed you anytime you want.

[He makes a show of kicking a toe at the tiles in disappointment, not bothered to hide his grin] Damn shame. S'all good though, sometimes it's better to have a private spank bank, eh? [No one on this earth could come up with something as compelling as 'nether lips', all credit is hers]

[He plops himself into a chair, chin in his fists like a damn child] Well while you tell me what the everlovin' fuck you've been up to, I wouldn't turn away some pasta. An as payment you get to witness my handsome good looks. ...An I guess if you wanna know what's been happenin' around here I can tell ya.

Edited 2013-03-13 05:54 (UTC)

Badou! [Did he have to be so lewd? Blushing fiercely, she turned her attention to gathering ingredients, anything to keep from looking back at her friend.]

Ah...Not much really, just getting Chloe settled for the most part. I'm afraid I got a little distracted, but...

[What can she say. She hadn't had a pet before, it was kind of fun.]

Mary! [Do bears have to shit in the woods? Instantly spotting her reaction makes Badou a cheeky turd. Please mind him. Upside the head with a whap, to be clear]

Mmm. You're lucky you found a lil pet outside the shitty population here. Less trouble an kinky drama. Not to mention a charmin' mention in the yearbook. [He crooks a finger curiously at the kitty otherwise preoccupied with her calcium] I got the right to reserve my judgement on how diabolical she is, though.

Be polite. This is hardly the place for such talk~. [Okay, it was...but her delicate ears. She wasn't used to such language from people that weren't John, even then, it wasn't talked about so freely outside of their bedroom.]

Poor thing was half frozen. I didn't have it in me to leave her out there...I'm just glad she came to the manor with me and wasn't left there. [The kitten lifts her head, the little bell around her neck making a tinkling noise. Oh hey, a finger. Have a little paw lifting to try to scratch it, Badou.]

[Badou palms his heart in mock hurt] Why, m'lady, I'm always on my best damn behavior. Innocent chitchat is what I'm allll about. [The shiteating grin leaves much to be desired. Hey, it's only fair, friendship is a two way street even if it's a little depth perception-capped oneway]

An what better person to find this one than the Queen of the strays, eh? 'm tellin' you, recruitment offices don't know their asses from their eyes, passin' up your PTO skills. [He lets her 'catch' her prey and pets the little paw]

Ahhh, ya got me! Now what're you gonna do? How bout somethin' new, seein' as biting's lost it's flare this season.

Queen of the strays, I could get used to that title...and who better to give it than one of my strays? I don't know, I don't know how well I'd really do in a regular job like that. I've never actually had a job that payed.

[Wrapping both paws around the finger, the kitten starts chewing on his finger, a soft purr rumbling through her.] You're good with her...you'd probably be good with kids.

Heyhey, if I'm one of your strays I request dibs on the treasury position. Contrary to my loud ass clap inflicted land lady, I'm fuckin' awesome when it comes to money. [He whistles, low and impressed] Least taxes are the least of your worries. Now c'mon, you're tellin' me you wouldn't putcher foot down on the throats an tits of pushy PTO moms? You'd be the boss, no kiddin'.

Yoooo fluffy lady, you can borrow that for now. Just try not to take too much off the top, I kinda need it for my smokes. [He'll allow the bonding chewing, if only cause it's...p cute. Sputtering with surprise, he turns his attention back to Mary]

I dunno bout that, kids're tricky little shits. As hot an cold as that song. Especially magic up'd brats...[And cue the charming grin] I'm just damn skilled at makin the lady purr with just a touch.

Granted. So long as you can ensure I'm rich and none of my strays are ever wanting for anything. That's one of the good things about this ace, you know. People can bitch and complain all they want, but no one here is ever lacking. We have food and companionship. Even if I get confused at times by certain words, I still wouldn't change anything.

[If Chloe understood him, she didn't seem to care. Tiny needle like claws dug into his finger.]

Not so tricky. They just have to have a firm parent to make sure they don't get unruly and they're as sweet as apple pie. [A wistful sigh left her, her next statement coming unbidden.] ...At least someone's purring. [And cue blush.]

[Badou snorts, but his lips quirk humorously] I must've gained a fat ass gut an a beard when I was on the shitter if you think I can ensure that. I'll see what I can do, boss.

[Have an eyebrow raise there] I'll be sure to thank J.C for my goddamn veggies too, even though broccoli look like farts. I can think of a couple'a things I want, startin' with a hot hand model.

[He hisses, wincing, and pets Chloe between the ears with his free hand] So much for charmin' pussy....c'mooooon, not so rough. The boys'll cry if you do that shit to 'em...unless you like that.

More like sour, shit filled tarts. The problem's when the other parent is a dickhole dude looks like a lady type, which the kid takes after...coulda used that eternal tinglin' parent asshair senses then. [All the skeptical denial at Mary's heartfelt belief and cute comparison...which morphs into a smirk] Could be a purr party. Plenty of party hats an shit for the rest of the class~

All I can do is ask you to try your best. Remember, a quarter of a million for each of my adopted babies, alright?

[Turning with a smile, she set her spoon on the counter and left the food to simmer. He was really too adorable, no matter what the situation was.]

Purr party, huh? Maybe one day...sorry to say, I'd hate to do anything to our friendship, no matter how lonely it gets around here. Besides, if you made me purr I'm pretty sure my eldest would castrate you.

[Badou hums an affirmative and takes note] That in addition to my fee as treasurer, right? Right. It's tough wrestlin money from tight fists an asses, boss, so it's only fair.

Whoawhoawhoa, what a naughty, dirty fuckin' mind you've got, Mama Bear! No one ever said anythin' bout that. I'm a goddamn gentleman, when're you gonna get it? 'Sides...you aren't my type, sheeesh. I'm startin' to suspect you're livin' a tripple life as a smut writer a hell of a lot more now.

[He looks utterly scandalized, and one hand might or might not sneak down to protect his balls as he grimaces. Off limits means off limits and she makes a good point.] Thanks ~~ever~~ so goddamn much for lookin' out for Doctor Hugh G. Rection. Nails Smangin' Defense Squad Go.

Play your cards right and we'll see. Money's hard to come by.

[Smiling, she tossed a dishtowel at his head.] Then what exactly is your type? Harlots? I'll have you know any man would be lucky to have me.

[She'd never seriously flirt with him though. It was just nice having someone she could be relaxed with and actually able to speak like this with.]

I was always pretty damn decent at poker. 'm sure there's gotta be some humble salary for the hard twerkin' man! Jeeez...

[He lets out a squawk as his vision is draped by soap-smelly towel, then pulls it off and dangles it before the kitty. At the harlot part he cracks a wide grin and a laugh] Harlot? I'm gonna wait a minute an see if flappter comes along with that one, pfffft!

[Sobering, he goes on, that grin still atwitchin'.] You're right, your mechanic smut's a lucky bastard to have ya. May your rolls in the hay be plentiful an mostly secret. I do like the type that can kick my ass. But I also like the type that won't make us both fuckin' damsels in distress. [Pointed look, mama bear]

Yeah? Maybe we'll have to play sometime. I'll have you know my daddy taught me a mean game in hopes of carrying on his legacy.

[Probably not best to say her dad was a cardshark, but it didn't hurt to let him know what he'd be getting into if he played with her.

At the last part, she cracked a grin.]

Well, if he'd ever get here, I'm sure there would be many rolls in the hay. Considering how long I've been here, I don't anticipate a trip home anytime soon.

Edited 2013-04-21 04:26 (UTC)

[Badou's eyebrows meet his hairline. What the fuck can't Mary do is the real question. As long as she never knows he lost at strip poker in about ten minutes. Lost in all the ways that count.] The legacy of the old fart who robbed Vegas blind without even needin' a dead pigeon zoomin' outta his open fly for a distraction?

[If he wasn't an asshole he'd probably blush or be a little bashful. Badou just snickers and leers. At least she'd be happier, if not forced to put a tie on every doorknob they came across...] An on that occasion we'll getcha more cowbell an knock before enterin' every goddamn room, regardless if it has a door or not. Fuckin' scandalous, mama bear!

More the legacy of the man who had to stop betting on games cause no one would play with him anymore. [She smirked a little at the memory.] They'd bet with me though. I was his ringer.

Hey, just because we have a healthy sex life. [If not more than a few fights that they had.]

I can appreciate a man who takes another dude's money, that ain't mine of course, an makes grown ass men cry. You both're real ball an wallet breakers, babe.

[He chuckles and holds up his hands in surrender] Hey, just cause we don't wanna be accused of bein' kinky voyeurs~ Maybe if we get royalty checks for appearin' in your next installment of The Mechanic an the Housewife? Naw, that kinda spotlight ain't all that.

He wanted to make sure I was multi-talented. Before he was killed, he made sure I'd be able to provide for myself in nothing else.

[Mary smiled to herself in amusement.] You really think you could handle appearing in an episode of the mechanic and the housewife? I don't really think you can, not from what I've seen so far.

It's great he taught you to get dudes where it counts- by the short and curlies and by the wallet. Clever guy. Ah, mentors.

Are you doubtin' my flexibility and hot gingery prowess, Mama bear? [He cocks his head to the side and makes a show of raising an eyebrow. Blasphemy!] Your attention is merely directed away from my hard boiledness, you gotta train it right. I dunno if royalty checks are worth gettin' my ass kicked, though. The adoption'll go stale with ratings like that.

Well, unless I wanted to take over his dry cleaning business... He was just worried I wouldn't have a way to support myself if something happened.

And if I am? [She nudged him lightly with her elbow.] It's not like I know how much you can really handle.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Sorry for the slow

No worries! I hope things are going well!

Just school killing me. I have my big test in May so...

GOOD LUCK! YOU GOT THIS IN THE BAG..IN THE BALL BAG!

I sincerely hope so...

You got this, girl!

I certainly hope so